The biggest sun

Two years and two days ago my life changed forever.  I didn't know at the time, but my life would continue to change throughout the course of the year. 

I couldn't sleep one night (Feb 4th, 2011 to be exact) and stayed up reading.  A neighbor called me.  To say she was panicky would be a huge understatement!  She screamed through sobs that my house was burning down.  WOW!  Ok.  I told her to calm down and it was okay as the boys and I were staying with my parents. 

In an instant, a more composed neighbor was on the phone telling me my grandparents house was on fire.  I was imagining a kitchen fire.  I can't recall what my neighbor said verbatim, but she let me know "It's bad, Robin.  They are okay and the fire department is on the way.  You need to get here!"

I grabbed the boys, woke my parents and we sped to see huge flames in the distance.  I'm certain this is about the time I went into shock.  This was no kitchen fire.  Their whole house was being destroyed by tall red & orange flames.  The smoke was so thick that people were coughing from quite a distance.  My grandparents were safe at a neighbor's house wrapped in blankets shaking and crying.

I ran up the hill to see their house and get a better look at the fire.  Caution tape surrounded the perimeter and then some.  Adrenaline was in full force, so I ran through the caution tape and paid no attention to the authorities telling me it wasn't safe.  A little caution tape wasn't going to stop me when I knew my grandparents were losing everything they owned.

Police officers and fire fighters were standing around talking as snow began to fall.  I remember crying and calling out all I could say in a prayer, which was "Oh, God!"

The fire fighters quickly stopped spraying water and brought out chainsaws to cut the house apart.  The sound was more than I could bare.  I watched the home that I had spent so much of my life in go up in flames.  Thirty years of memories, everything they owned, and so much more all gone. Black. 

"Now the air I tasted and breathed has taken a turn.  And now my bitter hands chafe beneath the clouds of what was everything.  Oh the pictures had all been washed in black.  Tattooed everything. "  Eddie Vedder

The next week was spent shoveling through ashes and snow in what seemed to be the coldest days of any winter I had ever encountered.  Something about the traumatic experience and smell of ashes put together made me shake every time I shoveled.  To this day, I still shake if I ever smell that horrific smell.  My grandparents moved into my house and the boys and I moved in with my parents.

Since then, my grandparents moved into a new house and the boys and I have our own home.  I can't say that I was always okay with the fire and divorce documents that came the same week.

I am at peace now.  You see, God had big plans then and he has big plans now.  God saved my grandparent's lives that cold, winter night.  They were moments away from death and lucky to be alive (this is exactly what the paramedics told me)! 

Whenever you feel like you are drowning in life's situations, remember your maker walks on water.  I think God allows awful things to happen so that our focus is always on him and so that we can truly learn to appreciate our blessings.

It took a long time for me to be content.  I'm so proud to tell you that I want for nothing and am completely content!  Sure, I would love and hope to see my boys grow up happy and healthy, but we don't need a new car, clothes, house, or other "things" to be happy.  I've seen material things burn in a matter of hours.  I've learned what's important in life can't be bought. 

Dear friends, please embrace what's really important in life.  Have a fabulous day and let your smile be the biggest sun in someone else's sky who is in the middle of the storm~