It hasn't quite been two years since I've written, but I've been busy. My sincerest apologies. It's cold and winter proves to be in full force here in Kentucky. I hope you are all warm and cozy wherever you may be.
I was recently honored to read a dear friend's writings and have been so moved. This friend possesses a gift for writing AND for drawing! I noticed they hadn't been writing as often and me being myself wondered why not. What did I do? I encouraged them to continue to write, but probably for selfish reasons. I can't wait to read them! Those writings are some of the deepest, sweetest, most personal, and touching words I've ever read. I'm a firm believer in using the gifts that God has given us. The trick for me was always identifying those gifts. I feel qualified to spot talent from a mile away, since I love to read. I'm also brutally honest and don't believe in being anything but brutally honest, no matter how bad the truth is. I can be very outspoken. Honestly, I'm probably too outspoken, but I'm not always. That's how I like others to be with me, so that's the kind of friend I try to be. Some people don't like that about me and I'm totally fine with that. I just know myself. I only go to and trust those I'm certain will tell me how it is, even if it's not what I want to hear.
I've searched most of my life to find EXACTLY what my gift is. You know, that gift that God has given you and intends for you to use here on this Earth? I've diagnosed myself, taken personality tests, and even returned to college. I've FINALLY found my gift. I'm certain I only have one. If I have more gifts, I may spend another thirty four years trying to acknowledge and identify them, but for now I'm good with just having one gift. Not just any gift, but THE gift I plan on using for the rest of my life and in my future career. That gift is helping others. I am so thrilled and also feel bit cursed that it has taken me so long to finally identify God's purpose for my life. I didn't do things the traditional way or on the same timeline that most others do. I'm totally fine with that too, but I know appreciate and value the little things in life. That simply means sometimes the little things are HUGE to people like me. This is often a blessing, as it doesn't take much to make me happy and I'm usually pretty content.
The way I understand it, we are all supposed to help others. I recently resigned from my career and everything I knew in order to finish my undergraduate degree and hopefully attain my graduate degree in counseling. My former career (makes me a little sad just writing about it, as I miss my clients so very much) was in a helping field, but after much prayer I decided I wanted to help others as much as I can. Being a caseworker in public assistance just wasn't enough for me anymore. I NEED to see clients who WANT to change. Mainly, I want to be able to see progress right before my own eyes. I absolutely love helping others, especially those who just need someone to believe in them. I aspire to give them my full one on one attention and become a mental health provider. I don't know if I will make it, but I'm now a full time mom/student with A's! My oldest son is eleven and he is me twenty three years ago. I was so happy to tell him the news and his only response was, "Mom, aren't you a little OLD to be going to college?" Ouch. Well, yes. Kind of. I used that as motivation and I make sure to remind him often (especially when I get As) that I am not too old to give up on my dreams. I know this journey won't be easy, but I'm ready to give it my all and not look back on my life with regrets. Watch out, world! This college mom is close to graduating!
A wise man is full of strength, and a man of knowledge enhances his might, Proverbs 24:5
Whatever you do, wherever you are, I hope you ALWAYS believe in yourself and the beauty of your own dreams. Don't give up. "Reach for the moon. If you fall short, you just may land on a star!"
Monday, January 25, 2016
Sunday, October 19, 2014
Special Needs
Happy Fall, everyone! It's almost Halloween and the temperatures are rapidly getting cooler in Kentucky. Leaves are changing color and starting to fall all around me. I hope you all have your Halloween decor out and are planning on transforming yourselves into spooky ghouls and goblins soon!
I've been asking tons of questions lately and searching high, low, to, from, over, above, beyond, and everywhere in between for the answers. What is it that defines me? What is it that defines my children? Why do we put so much pressure on ourselves to not only excel, but to hit a standard that isn't attainable? Who am I? What is my purpose on Earth? What is God's plan? I could go on and on, but you get the picture.
"The Lord says, I will guide you along the best pathway for your life. I will advise you and watch over you." Psalm 32:8
August 2014 changed my life forever. My youngest son's dad, my ex-husband was diagnosed with brain, lung, and bone cancer. The prognosis is not good. I've never heard of a cancer diagnosis and prognosis that was, in fact hopeful or promising. I won't spit out statistics for a few reasons, but the main reason being that only God knows when we will take our last breath on this Earth. My four year old son has had some extensive behavioral testing done and has three diagnosis, all of which label him as a child with special needs. I was hospitalized and tested for everything under the sun, due to persistent blood clots and was told I have a couple of genetic mutations that make me more prone to having blood clots. That's more than my emotions can handle, but I've attempted to process and deal with all of this life changing news.
Special needs....Those two words are destined for a stereotype and label from society that comes with great stigma. Think about it. No one actually wants to be labeled anything slightly negative or abnormal. The way I see it is, we ALL have special needs. People have no idea just what our special needs are exactly, unless they invest the time it takes to REALLY get to know us personally. God designed each and every one of us according to HIS standards and we are all good enough for him. After all, we are his children. What would happen if we left home every day treating everyone we encounter as if they too had special needs? This cruel world would be a much better place. That's exactly what would happen. I pray God gives those with special needs a tremendous amount of courage to go through life.
Cancer....It's such a nasty and scary word. Thankfully, science and doctors have come a long way and have more research on this horrendous disease. In the news, there is a great debate going on amongst states that have legalized patients to have the option to end their own life. Can you imagine? I can't. It's absolutely baffling to imagine having a sickness so terrible that taking your own life would even be a thought. God bless these brave and courageous souls who know far too much about the world battle.
"The wicked are edgy with guilt, ready to run off even when no one's after them; honest people are relaxed and confident, bold as lions." Proverbs 28:1
Blood clotting disorder... I would be a lair if I told you this didn't scare me. It scared me in the beginning and it scares me now when I think about it. I know blood clots are super dangerous and an amazing friend of mine just had a stroke due to a blood clot, which caused a hemorrhage in her brain. I'm still trying to learn about all of these medical terms, but not like I used to. If I can just show up and have my blood drawn frequently, I'm doing excellent.
None of these labels define me or my precious family. I guess it's because we are all so much more than a condition or a disease. I'm my own worst enemy and extremely hard on myself. It became very real to me when a couple of family members told me this and it sank in. Why are we so hard on ourselves? Who exactly are we trying to impress? Whose standards are we trying to live up to? Whose approval is it that we are seeking? First and foremost, I want to be more Christ-like. "Perfection isn't attainable, but excellence is." That's a pretty bold statement if you think about it. It's very easy to understand, but next to impossible for me to live out those words. I'm so guilty of being way too wrapped up in wondering and worrying what other people think of me. "What other people think of you is absolutely none of your business." Yikes! It's true. Does it matter that the elderly woman at Wal-Mart thinks I'm not parenting correctly? Do we really care if others accept us at our worst times? Sure. However, the MOST important and only view I can accept at this point in my life is what Jesus thinks of me and sees in me. He can read my thoughts when I'm speechless. He can see my heart when I can't even seem to see it myself. I'm filled with good intentions and fail miserably all the time. Jesus is the ONLY person who knows and sees that. The rest is history and minor details that don't amount to anything worth losing sleep over. A wise man often reminds me, "If it's not going to stop Jesus from coming back, it's not a big deal."
"The Lord doesn't hate or despise the helpless in all of their troubles. When I cried out, he listened and did not turn away." Psalm 22:24
Doubt, negativity, worry, stress, fear, and so much more are NOT from God. These things all come from our enemy, Satan. Satan knows he can put strongholds on our lives by entering and planning to attack us through our minds. I will keep my eyes upon the Lord. I know Jesus is working overtime in my life and the devil is trying hard to convince me his lies are true. I choose to be brave, kind, as strong as I can, and trust in Jesus. I pray you put your lives in the palm of Jesus. We all have special needs, but our creator is the only one who knows each and every one of them. God bless you all!
I've been asking tons of questions lately and searching high, low, to, from, over, above, beyond, and everywhere in between for the answers. What is it that defines me? What is it that defines my children? Why do we put so much pressure on ourselves to not only excel, but to hit a standard that isn't attainable? Who am I? What is my purpose on Earth? What is God's plan? I could go on and on, but you get the picture.
"The Lord says, I will guide you along the best pathway for your life. I will advise you and watch over you." Psalm 32:8
August 2014 changed my life forever. My youngest son's dad, my ex-husband was diagnosed with brain, lung, and bone cancer. The prognosis is not good. I've never heard of a cancer diagnosis and prognosis that was, in fact hopeful or promising. I won't spit out statistics for a few reasons, but the main reason being that only God knows when we will take our last breath on this Earth. My four year old son has had some extensive behavioral testing done and has three diagnosis, all of which label him as a child with special needs. I was hospitalized and tested for everything under the sun, due to persistent blood clots and was told I have a couple of genetic mutations that make me more prone to having blood clots. That's more than my emotions can handle, but I've attempted to process and deal with all of this life changing news.
Special needs....Those two words are destined for a stereotype and label from society that comes with great stigma. Think about it. No one actually wants to be labeled anything slightly negative or abnormal. The way I see it is, we ALL have special needs. People have no idea just what our special needs are exactly, unless they invest the time it takes to REALLY get to know us personally. God designed each and every one of us according to HIS standards and we are all good enough for him. After all, we are his children. What would happen if we left home every day treating everyone we encounter as if they too had special needs? This cruel world would be a much better place. That's exactly what would happen. I pray God gives those with special needs a tremendous amount of courage to go through life.
Cancer....It's such a nasty and scary word. Thankfully, science and doctors have come a long way and have more research on this horrendous disease. In the news, there is a great debate going on amongst states that have legalized patients to have the option to end their own life. Can you imagine? I can't. It's absolutely baffling to imagine having a sickness so terrible that taking your own life would even be a thought. God bless these brave and courageous souls who know far too much about the world battle.
"The wicked are edgy with guilt, ready to run off even when no one's after them; honest people are relaxed and confident, bold as lions." Proverbs 28:1
Blood clotting disorder... I would be a lair if I told you this didn't scare me. It scared me in the beginning and it scares me now when I think about it. I know blood clots are super dangerous and an amazing friend of mine just had a stroke due to a blood clot, which caused a hemorrhage in her brain. I'm still trying to learn about all of these medical terms, but not like I used to. If I can just show up and have my blood drawn frequently, I'm doing excellent.
None of these labels define me or my precious family. I guess it's because we are all so much more than a condition or a disease. I'm my own worst enemy and extremely hard on myself. It became very real to me when a couple of family members told me this and it sank in. Why are we so hard on ourselves? Who exactly are we trying to impress? Whose standards are we trying to live up to? Whose approval is it that we are seeking? First and foremost, I want to be more Christ-like. "Perfection isn't attainable, but excellence is." That's a pretty bold statement if you think about it. It's very easy to understand, but next to impossible for me to live out those words. I'm so guilty of being way too wrapped up in wondering and worrying what other people think of me. "What other people think of you is absolutely none of your business." Yikes! It's true. Does it matter that the elderly woman at Wal-Mart thinks I'm not parenting correctly? Do we really care if others accept us at our worst times? Sure. However, the MOST important and only view I can accept at this point in my life is what Jesus thinks of me and sees in me. He can read my thoughts when I'm speechless. He can see my heart when I can't even seem to see it myself. I'm filled with good intentions and fail miserably all the time. Jesus is the ONLY person who knows and sees that. The rest is history and minor details that don't amount to anything worth losing sleep over. A wise man often reminds me, "If it's not going to stop Jesus from coming back, it's not a big deal."
"The Lord doesn't hate or despise the helpless in all of their troubles. When I cried out, he listened and did not turn away." Psalm 22:24
Doubt, negativity, worry, stress, fear, and so much more are NOT from God. These things all come from our enemy, Satan. Satan knows he can put strongholds on our lives by entering and planning to attack us through our minds. I will keep my eyes upon the Lord. I know Jesus is working overtime in my life and the devil is trying hard to convince me his lies are true. I choose to be brave, kind, as strong as I can, and trust in Jesus. I pray you put your lives in the palm of Jesus. We all have special needs, but our creator is the only one who knows each and every one of them. God bless you all!
Tuesday, March 18, 2014
Keep moving forward!
I could kick myself for not writing in so very long, but it wouldn't change things. So, here I am about to make up for lost time. I hope you are all enjoying this precious life we've been given and seeing the beauty and blessings that lie all around us.
I often find myself planning my day and week. To me, if it's planned there's a better chance it will go according to plan and it will work. We are a busy family and have lots of places, practices, games, and clubs to attend! However, no matter how much I plan out our days and weeks, things WILL be doomed if I'm not adhering to God's plan. After all, that's the plan that will be carried out and I can argue my plans against his all day long.
This is where I seem to struggle. After things flow smoothly and go my way for a little bit, I seem to think I can do it all by myself and I don't need to know God's plan, because I've already done the blueprints for my own master plan. This is a recipe for disaster! God will ALWAYS put me on his path again and take me down the road HE planned.
"For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans for welfare and not for evil, to give you a future and a hope" Jeremiah 29:11
What happens when you don't know which direction to go? What do you do when not even I, the master planner has any idea of which move is next? PRAY. PRAY HARD. PRAY OFTEN. That's great, but where do you go in the meantime? How do you know you're doing the right thing? I'm not sure you do know the right thing, but I do know you MUST KEEP MOVING FORWARD. Some of my favorite song lyrics read "It's time to move on. Time to get going. What lies ahead I have no way of knowing. But under my feet, baby grass is growing. Yeah, it's time to move on. Time to get going."
Sometimes, it can take us longer than other times to understand God's plan for us and which direction he wants us to go. There is a difference in being stuck and digging ruts in the path you're on, while waiting on God's plan to be revealed and just pressing on while waiting for his guidance and moving forward. We all know the difference between right and wrong & progress is essential to success and a key part in moving forward. If we don't, we will find ourselves "stuck" exactly where we started and after awhile, we will begin to dig a huge rut and get "stuck" even deeper right smack dab in that same old place we stopped to wait.
Some days, I feel I'm on top of my game and even ahead of pace. Other days, I have off days and just flat out don't want to do lots of things. It is CRUCIAL that we do the things that have to be done, dress up, show up, and keep moving forward!
I know all too well that loss, grief, hardships, sadness, and hurt come into our lives and can make us feel like giving up. It isn't an option to lay down and die or to quit. God created you and I to be examples and to help others who are going through what you've been through. Therefore, if we quit or stopped moving forward we wouldn't be able to share our hopeful experiences with those who are hurting and have lost all hope.
"Not that I have already obtained this or am already perfect, but I press on to make it my own, because Christ Jesus has made me his own. Brothers, I do not consider that I have made it my own. But one thing I do: forgetting what lies behind and straining forward to what lies ahead, I press on toward the goal for the prize of the upward call of God in Christ Jesus" Philippians 31: 12-14
Smile at a stranger today. Pay for someone's lunch. Let the person behind you in the grocery line check out first. It may seem as though you are taking three steps forward and ten steps backward, but don't give up and press on, dear friends! Do whatever it takes and always, always, keep moving forward!
I often find myself planning my day and week. To me, if it's planned there's a better chance it will go according to plan and it will work. We are a busy family and have lots of places, practices, games, and clubs to attend! However, no matter how much I plan out our days and weeks, things WILL be doomed if I'm not adhering to God's plan. After all, that's the plan that will be carried out and I can argue my plans against his all day long.
This is where I seem to struggle. After things flow smoothly and go my way for a little bit, I seem to think I can do it all by myself and I don't need to know God's plan, because I've already done the blueprints for my own master plan. This is a recipe for disaster! God will ALWAYS put me on his path again and take me down the road HE planned.
"For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans for welfare and not for evil, to give you a future and a hope" Jeremiah 29:11
What happens when you don't know which direction to go? What do you do when not even I, the master planner has any idea of which move is next? PRAY. PRAY HARD. PRAY OFTEN. That's great, but where do you go in the meantime? How do you know you're doing the right thing? I'm not sure you do know the right thing, but I do know you MUST KEEP MOVING FORWARD. Some of my favorite song lyrics read "It's time to move on. Time to get going. What lies ahead I have no way of knowing. But under my feet, baby grass is growing. Yeah, it's time to move on. Time to get going."
Sometimes, it can take us longer than other times to understand God's plan for us and which direction he wants us to go. There is a difference in being stuck and digging ruts in the path you're on, while waiting on God's plan to be revealed and just pressing on while waiting for his guidance and moving forward. We all know the difference between right and wrong & progress is essential to success and a key part in moving forward. If we don't, we will find ourselves "stuck" exactly where we started and after awhile, we will begin to dig a huge rut and get "stuck" even deeper right smack dab in that same old place we stopped to wait.
Some days, I feel I'm on top of my game and even ahead of pace. Other days, I have off days and just flat out don't want to do lots of things. It is CRUCIAL that we do the things that have to be done, dress up, show up, and keep moving forward!
I know all too well that loss, grief, hardships, sadness, and hurt come into our lives and can make us feel like giving up. It isn't an option to lay down and die or to quit. God created you and I to be examples and to help others who are going through what you've been through. Therefore, if we quit or stopped moving forward we wouldn't be able to share our hopeful experiences with those who are hurting and have lost all hope.
"Not that I have already obtained this or am already perfect, but I press on to make it my own, because Christ Jesus has made me his own. Brothers, I do not consider that I have made it my own. But one thing I do: forgetting what lies behind and straining forward to what lies ahead, I press on toward the goal for the prize of the upward call of God in Christ Jesus" Philippians 31: 12-14
Smile at a stranger today. Pay for someone's lunch. Let the person behind you in the grocery line check out first. It may seem as though you are taking three steps forward and ten steps backward, but don't give up and press on, dear friends! Do whatever it takes and always, always, keep moving forward!
Tuesday, August 21, 2012
We can do normal
August always brings new beginnings, schedules, and possibilities for my family (yes, there IS a possibility that I won't wait nearly two months before writing again! Don't worry, I cringed as I looked at the date of the last blog) and I'm sure it does for yours too. I hope and pray you all are receiving the many blessings that God has prepared for you and your August is amazing!
For my seven year old, it means a new school year in third grade! New teachers, rules, classes, and some new friends. Trust me, it's a BIG deal to find out who sits next to you at school, who is in your class, and the long awaited anticipation of seeing for yourself if you can trust your mom when she tells you that your teacher will be very nice!
For my twenty-five month old, it means no more summer visitation with dad & my best possible attempt to return to our normal schedule and lives (I'm quite certain our "normal" is pretty fast paced & full of change). Guess what? We can and usually do crazy schedules. We can also do normal!
I am not a huge fan of constant change. Some change is okay, but constant change isn't my favorite. I wish I could tell you that I love it! I don't, but I'm learning to be just fine with our everchanging lives. It has become a HUGE part of our lives. Just when we get used to the way things are, it's time to change! If things remain the same for any significant length of time, I try to prepare myself as I know change is coming. My sweet boys will hopefully have no problems adapting to rapid changes in their adult lives. Bless their sweet, flexible souls!
"The righteous will hold to their ways, and those with clean hands will grow stronger." Job 17:9
Lately, I've been trying harder than ever to shift from summer to school with the boy. I've been hoping this transition wouldn't entail so much as a groan! It hasn't been easy trying to shift, maintain, and run our new schedule. I feel the need to remind you that my youngest is two years old through and through. Two as in biting, kicking, "no" to everything, full blown meltdowns, and everything else that comes with the adventurous "terrible twos." He isn't a terrible trainwreck ALL the time, but when he is changing with schedules it is quite interesting to say the least.
When you add that on to a summer of constantly being shuffled between parents, you have a recipe for an extremely strong willed toddler who WILL test the boundaries of ANY living thing that tries to enforce rules or behaviors upon him. Are you ready to babysit, yet?
"As for you, be strong and do not give up, for your work will be rewarded." 2 Chronicles 15:7
I am so pleased to tell you that after only two weeks back into the new school year, we are finally back on track! I know I need to forget the glue that holds our lives together in some sort of rhyme or reason. Yes, I'm talking about the beloved schedule! We don't function well without a set dinner time, bed time, bath time, etc. I'm sure this makes some of you all squirm, but the thought of having NO routine and pure chaos makes me cringe a little bit! But hey, whatever works! In my family, the fiathful schedule just seems right (even if it does take two weeks to get back into the swing of things and requires regular modifications).
I know the school year adjustments are hard on my sweeties, but I also know that children are generally so much more resilient to adaptations. I'm so thankful for that! We have mastered third grade homework in reasonable time, rushed out the door every morning so that we could all sleep until the very last second to wake up without being late(every SINGLE MINUTE of sleep counts around our home), eaten breakfast on the go, and not forgotten any backpacks or allergy medicine like champs!
"We are hard pressed on every side, but not crushed; perplexed, but not in despair; persecuted, but not abandoned; struck down, but not destroyed." 2 Corinthians 4: 8-9
I'm okay with hearing the occasional complaints & groans, but more so I hear those deep belly laughs, jokes, singing, and witness lots of dancing! In the end, the payoff is SO worth the amazing spice that variety brings to our lives!
Have a wonderful week and maybe you all can roll with the changes of life as opposed to kicking and screaming every step. I know you all have crazy schedules, but I assure you that normal routines are coming your way. We can do normal! May God bless you all!
For my seven year old, it means a new school year in third grade! New teachers, rules, classes, and some new friends. Trust me, it's a BIG deal to find out who sits next to you at school, who is in your class, and the long awaited anticipation of seeing for yourself if you can trust your mom when she tells you that your teacher will be very nice!
For my twenty-five month old, it means no more summer visitation with dad & my best possible attempt to return to our normal schedule and lives (I'm quite certain our "normal" is pretty fast paced & full of change). Guess what? We can and usually do crazy schedules. We can also do normal!
I am not a huge fan of constant change. Some change is okay, but constant change isn't my favorite. I wish I could tell you that I love it! I don't, but I'm learning to be just fine with our everchanging lives. It has become a HUGE part of our lives. Just when we get used to the way things are, it's time to change! If things remain the same for any significant length of time, I try to prepare myself as I know change is coming. My sweet boys will hopefully have no problems adapting to rapid changes in their adult lives. Bless their sweet, flexible souls!
"The righteous will hold to their ways, and those with clean hands will grow stronger." Job 17:9
Lately, I've been trying harder than ever to shift from summer to school with the boy. I've been hoping this transition wouldn't entail so much as a groan! It hasn't been easy trying to shift, maintain, and run our new schedule. I feel the need to remind you that my youngest is two years old through and through. Two as in biting, kicking, "no" to everything, full blown meltdowns, and everything else that comes with the adventurous "terrible twos." He isn't a terrible trainwreck ALL the time, but when he is changing with schedules it is quite interesting to say the least.
When you add that on to a summer of constantly being shuffled between parents, you have a recipe for an extremely strong willed toddler who WILL test the boundaries of ANY living thing that tries to enforce rules or behaviors upon him. Are you ready to babysit, yet?
"As for you, be strong and do not give up, for your work will be rewarded." 2 Chronicles 15:7
I am so pleased to tell you that after only two weeks back into the new school year, we are finally back on track! I know I need to forget the glue that holds our lives together in some sort of rhyme or reason. Yes, I'm talking about the beloved schedule! We don't function well without a set dinner time, bed time, bath time, etc. I'm sure this makes some of you all squirm, but the thought of having NO routine and pure chaos makes me cringe a little bit! But hey, whatever works! In my family, the fiathful schedule just seems right (even if it does take two weeks to get back into the swing of things and requires regular modifications).
I know the school year adjustments are hard on my sweeties, but I also know that children are generally so much more resilient to adaptations. I'm so thankful for that! We have mastered third grade homework in reasonable time, rushed out the door every morning so that we could all sleep until the very last second to wake up without being late(every SINGLE MINUTE of sleep counts around our home), eaten breakfast on the go, and not forgotten any backpacks or allergy medicine like champs!
"We are hard pressed on every side, but not crushed; perplexed, but not in despair; persecuted, but not abandoned; struck down, but not destroyed." 2 Corinthians 4: 8-9
I'm okay with hearing the occasional complaints & groans, but more so I hear those deep belly laughs, jokes, singing, and witness lots of dancing! In the end, the payoff is SO worth the amazing spice that variety brings to our lives!
Have a wonderful week and maybe you all can roll with the changes of life as opposed to kicking and screaming every step. I know you all have crazy schedules, but I assure you that normal routines are coming your way. We can do normal! May God bless you all!
Tuesday, June 26, 2012
Open your Eyes
Happy Tuesday everyone! I'm so thankful for a business day off. It's amazing how much one can accomplish when given the opportunity to have no distractions. I hope you are all living the best life ever and becoming more aware of your many blessings. I know I have been opening my eyes more and more daily.
"The commandments of the Lord are right, bringing joy to the heart. The commands of the Lord are clear, giving insight to life." Psalm 19:8
I can't tell you how fortunate and blessed I am. My soon to be two year old came home on Saturday after being with his father for seven days (yes, you read that right SEVEN days). I honestly don't know how divorced parents that live in different states do it. To the best of my knowledge, the children have to be gone for SIX WEEKS at a time. I can't begin to imagine, but I can pray for you all and I do.
My life is complete when I have both of my sweet boys. I don't worry when they are with my family, at daycare, school, etc. I am a bit concerned when I can't be informed of anything that is going on with them for any amount of time. Maybe it's just a mom thing. I hope all you moms and dads out there love your children enough to call them and see how they are when they are away.
"I am happy from the inside out, and from outside in, I'm firmly formed. You canceled my ticket to hell- that's not my destination!" Psalm 16:9-10
My baby came home sick, but he came HOME!! I've been working with two doctors and a slew of others to get him back on the road to recovery and back to his normal, fun, busy, laughing, mischievous, and sweet little self. My heart hurts so much when I hear him say "hurt mommy." Ouch. BIG ouch! It's not like he can tell me exactly what has happened. I'm left to figure out a mystery and pick the pieces back up and keep going. I can do that and God helps!
Monday is a HUGE day for me. I can't tell you that I'm looking forward to it, but I do know that I'd do anything for my sweet babies who can't defend themselves. The part that is most frightening is that some things lie in the hands of a human judge, and I firmly believe that God is the only judge. I'm not worried and have found peace, because I know the truth and God is always with me. I am quite sure things will turn out EXACTLY the way God intended them to be.
"God our Father loves us. He is kind and has given us eternal comfort and a wonderful hope. We pray that our Lord Jesus Christ and God our Father will encourage you and help you always to do and say the right thing." 2 Thessalonians 2:16-17
God continually blesses my family and I each and every day. Only when I choose to see his blessings, am I fully aware of just how blessed we are. All I have and love belongs to God. You see, lately there have been a quite a few "Speed bumps" on the road of life, or perhaps you may wish to refer to them as "storms." I know that these hurdles are temporary and after every storm, there is a beautiful rainbow to follow.
"The Lord has done great things for us, and we are filled with joy." Psalm 126:3
If you are in the middle of a storm, just passing through a storm, or approaching a storm (and aren't aware of it yet), make sure to open up your beautiful eyes and see the rainbow at the end that God has given you. Find peace within your heart and lean on God who is the ONLY one who will never disappoint you, fail you, or let you down. Place your hope in him. I can assure you that at some point in your life (if you put your hope or trust in them), that every single thing of this world WILL let you down or disappoint you.
"I wait on the Lord, my soul waits, and in his word I put my hope." Psalm 130:5
Please take a moment and thank God for all that he has done in your life. Be contented and smile through the storms knowing that all you have to do is open your eyes and a beautiful rainbow will be waiting for you soon enough. May God bless you all, dear friends. Have the most amazing week ever!
"The commandments of the Lord are right, bringing joy to the heart. The commands of the Lord are clear, giving insight to life." Psalm 19:8
I can't tell you how fortunate and blessed I am. My soon to be two year old came home on Saturday after being with his father for seven days (yes, you read that right SEVEN days). I honestly don't know how divorced parents that live in different states do it. To the best of my knowledge, the children have to be gone for SIX WEEKS at a time. I can't begin to imagine, but I can pray for you all and I do.
My life is complete when I have both of my sweet boys. I don't worry when they are with my family, at daycare, school, etc. I am a bit concerned when I can't be informed of anything that is going on with them for any amount of time. Maybe it's just a mom thing. I hope all you moms and dads out there love your children enough to call them and see how they are when they are away.
"I am happy from the inside out, and from outside in, I'm firmly formed. You canceled my ticket to hell- that's not my destination!" Psalm 16:9-10
My baby came home sick, but he came HOME!! I've been working with two doctors and a slew of others to get him back on the road to recovery and back to his normal, fun, busy, laughing, mischievous, and sweet little self. My heart hurts so much when I hear him say "hurt mommy." Ouch. BIG ouch! It's not like he can tell me exactly what has happened. I'm left to figure out a mystery and pick the pieces back up and keep going. I can do that and God helps!
Monday is a HUGE day for me. I can't tell you that I'm looking forward to it, but I do know that I'd do anything for my sweet babies who can't defend themselves. The part that is most frightening is that some things lie in the hands of a human judge, and I firmly believe that God is the only judge. I'm not worried and have found peace, because I know the truth and God is always with me. I am quite sure things will turn out EXACTLY the way God intended them to be.
"God our Father loves us. He is kind and has given us eternal comfort and a wonderful hope. We pray that our Lord Jesus Christ and God our Father will encourage you and help you always to do and say the right thing." 2 Thessalonians 2:16-17
God continually blesses my family and I each and every day. Only when I choose to see his blessings, am I fully aware of just how blessed we are. All I have and love belongs to God. You see, lately there have been a quite a few "Speed bumps" on the road of life, or perhaps you may wish to refer to them as "storms." I know that these hurdles are temporary and after every storm, there is a beautiful rainbow to follow.
"The Lord has done great things for us, and we are filled with joy." Psalm 126:3
If you are in the middle of a storm, just passing through a storm, or approaching a storm (and aren't aware of it yet), make sure to open up your beautiful eyes and see the rainbow at the end that God has given you. Find peace within your heart and lean on God who is the ONLY one who will never disappoint you, fail you, or let you down. Place your hope in him. I can assure you that at some point in your life (if you put your hope or trust in them), that every single thing of this world WILL let you down or disappoint you.
"I wait on the Lord, my soul waits, and in his word I put my hope." Psalm 130:5
Please take a moment and thank God for all that he has done in your life. Be contented and smile through the storms knowing that all you have to do is open your eyes and a beautiful rainbow will be waiting for you soon enough. May God bless you all, dear friends. Have the most amazing week ever!
Saturday, May 26, 2012
Miracle Business
Happy LONG weekend sweet friends! I hope you are all soaking up the Memorial Day weekend sun and enjoying time with your precious loved ones.
Normally, I don't re-read my blogs after I've posted them (if you see grammatical errors, I apologize in advance. It IS my pet peeve, but I usually don't have that much time on my hands). Today, I decided to scan the last title which is "Worst Case Scenario." I also remember the meaning of the blog was to think positive in ANY given situation.
The past seven days have been some of the toughest days of my life thus far. A friend of mine and the families had a horrible car accident exactly a week ago today. The hospitals around here couldn't handle the trauma & he was air-lifted immediately to a wonderful trauma center in another state. On Sunday, we were told there was little brain activity, major head trauma with swelling of the brain, a skull fracture, & he was in a coma. No one (including myself--I'm guilty) seemed to have much hope. The medical professionals all said to prepare for the worst because he had greater chances of death than survival. I prayed to God for a miracle and I knew if he was going to make it, he would need a miracle that only God could perform due to his rapidly decreasing health status. I try to practice what I write, but this case was extremely difficult (that would be a HUGE understatement).
The world never stopped spinning, & I had to carry on with work and my sweet boys. I don't cry in front of my sweeties, but I think most of those who know me best have seen me fall apart lately. I felt like a terrible mother because my children were shuffled from their aunt, dad, basketball camp, and daycare. Thank goodness I have an amazing sister who is always stepping right up to the plate to help out. She doesn't ever question things. She just does what is needed. I couldn't have even visited the Intensive Care Unit out of state without her and my brother-in-law. Bless their hearts (my family and my sweet boys). Thank you wasn't enough. I don't think I could have made it had I not visited the hospital.
Yesterday marked the sixth day. Those six days were packed full of prayers and I'm thankful for each and everyone who prayed and those who continue to pray! Keep it up! God hears our prayers and knows our hearts. I'm guessing during the beginning, I went into shock and remained in what I refer to as "robot mode," or "survival mode." Both terms mean focusing ONLY on the obvious (taking care of the boys, eating, sleeping, etc.), you know the basics. I've searched my Bible and read and studied harder this past week than ever before.
"For we walk by faith and not by sight." 2 Corinthians 5:7
Days were spent on the phone with pastors, preachers, family, & friends. I called California and people that far west didn't question anything, they just prayed and will continue. I'll be the first to tell you all that I wasn't bursting with hope. I had an ounce of hope, but I wasn't hearing from God like I thought I would be (remember I told you all that God works in my life on his own terms and not mine?). Shock was replaced by reality and sadness and anger immediately followed.
Yesterday, I received the daily news update in the morning. Brain swelling was up and down and he was FINALLY taking food via a feeding tube. I knew the first seventy-two hours were the most critical, but after they passed the doctors told us he would need to make it seven to ten days before they would know anymore. Remember how I prayed and asked others to pray for a miracle? I specifically asked that no one question the reason for the prayers for miracles, because I think everyone automatically went into survival mode. Details didn't matter. Prayers specifically for a miracle were the only thing that were relevant besides his state of well being. Faith, hope, and tons of prayers were the only light God showed me.
"When people work, their wages are not a gift. Workers earn what they receive, but people are declared righteous because of their faith, not because of their work." Romans 4:4-5
THE NEWS WAS GREAT! He's awake!!! It's been seven days today and he woke up from the coma on the sixth day! This means that maybe God wanted to wait until the last minute, but also not be too hesitant (the doctors said after the first seventy-two hours that the first seven to ten days would be the most crucial). Thank you, God! He is breathing on his OWN, his heart is back into it's own rhythm, he is responsive, talking some, and AWAKE!!!!
"I wait for the Lord, my soul waits, and in his word I put my hope." Psalm 130:5
God is so good! Does he still need prayers? YES! Is everything going to be okay? I can't answer that. However, God DOES answer prayers! I've known this & shouldn't be amazed that God answered our prayers. I know that some of you know me and some of you don't, but I'm asking you now to pray for this young man. God knows.
The good and positive things in this situation? That one was tough. The BEST part is being reminded that my God is still in the miracle business. He was the ONLY person who could've saved my sweet friend's precious life and he did! I do believe this young man will be given a second chance at life!! How amazing is that?!
I'm begging you all to tell those you love and care for exactly how you feel. We all know we aren't guaranteed another day or breath. However, some of us seem to forget this. I promise you that you won't regret letting those you hold dear to your heart exactly how you feel about them. I haven't had the chance to tell my dear friend exactly how I feel about him, but I'm next to certain that God is going to give me that chance. Remember, God is STILL in the miracle business! Have a blessed weekend, dear friends and thank God for the people he has brought into your life!
Normally, I don't re-read my blogs after I've posted them (if you see grammatical errors, I apologize in advance. It IS my pet peeve, but I usually don't have that much time on my hands). Today, I decided to scan the last title which is "Worst Case Scenario." I also remember the meaning of the blog was to think positive in ANY given situation.
The past seven days have been some of the toughest days of my life thus far. A friend of mine and the families had a horrible car accident exactly a week ago today. The hospitals around here couldn't handle the trauma & he was air-lifted immediately to a wonderful trauma center in another state. On Sunday, we were told there was little brain activity, major head trauma with swelling of the brain, a skull fracture, & he was in a coma. No one (including myself--I'm guilty) seemed to have much hope. The medical professionals all said to prepare for the worst because he had greater chances of death than survival. I prayed to God for a miracle and I knew if he was going to make it, he would need a miracle that only God could perform due to his rapidly decreasing health status. I try to practice what I write, but this case was extremely difficult (that would be a HUGE understatement).
The world never stopped spinning, & I had to carry on with work and my sweet boys. I don't cry in front of my sweeties, but I think most of those who know me best have seen me fall apart lately. I felt like a terrible mother because my children were shuffled from their aunt, dad, basketball camp, and daycare. Thank goodness I have an amazing sister who is always stepping right up to the plate to help out. She doesn't ever question things. She just does what is needed. I couldn't have even visited the Intensive Care Unit out of state without her and my brother-in-law. Bless their hearts (my family and my sweet boys). Thank you wasn't enough. I don't think I could have made it had I not visited the hospital.
Yesterday marked the sixth day. Those six days were packed full of prayers and I'm thankful for each and everyone who prayed and those who continue to pray! Keep it up! God hears our prayers and knows our hearts. I'm guessing during the beginning, I went into shock and remained in what I refer to as "robot mode," or "survival mode." Both terms mean focusing ONLY on the obvious (taking care of the boys, eating, sleeping, etc.), you know the basics. I've searched my Bible and read and studied harder this past week than ever before.
"For we walk by faith and not by sight." 2 Corinthians 5:7
Days were spent on the phone with pastors, preachers, family, & friends. I called California and people that far west didn't question anything, they just prayed and will continue. I'll be the first to tell you all that I wasn't bursting with hope. I had an ounce of hope, but I wasn't hearing from God like I thought I would be (remember I told you all that God works in my life on his own terms and not mine?). Shock was replaced by reality and sadness and anger immediately followed.
Yesterday, I received the daily news update in the morning. Brain swelling was up and down and he was FINALLY taking food via a feeding tube. I knew the first seventy-two hours were the most critical, but after they passed the doctors told us he would need to make it seven to ten days before they would know anymore. Remember how I prayed and asked others to pray for a miracle? I specifically asked that no one question the reason for the prayers for miracles, because I think everyone automatically went into survival mode. Details didn't matter. Prayers specifically for a miracle were the only thing that were relevant besides his state of well being. Faith, hope, and tons of prayers were the only light God showed me.
"When people work, their wages are not a gift. Workers earn what they receive, but people are declared righteous because of their faith, not because of their work." Romans 4:4-5
THE NEWS WAS GREAT! He's awake!!! It's been seven days today and he woke up from the coma on the sixth day! This means that maybe God wanted to wait until the last minute, but also not be too hesitant (the doctors said after the first seventy-two hours that the first seven to ten days would be the most crucial). Thank you, God! He is breathing on his OWN, his heart is back into it's own rhythm, he is responsive, talking some, and AWAKE!!!!
"I wait for the Lord, my soul waits, and in his word I put my hope." Psalm 130:5
God is so good! Does he still need prayers? YES! Is everything going to be okay? I can't answer that. However, God DOES answer prayers! I've known this & shouldn't be amazed that God answered our prayers. I know that some of you know me and some of you don't, but I'm asking you now to pray for this young man. God knows.
The good and positive things in this situation? That one was tough. The BEST part is being reminded that my God is still in the miracle business. He was the ONLY person who could've saved my sweet friend's precious life and he did! I do believe this young man will be given a second chance at life!! How amazing is that?!
I'm begging you all to tell those you love and care for exactly how you feel. We all know we aren't guaranteed another day or breath. However, some of us seem to forget this. I promise you that you won't regret letting those you hold dear to your heart exactly how you feel about them. I haven't had the chance to tell my dear friend exactly how I feel about him, but I'm next to certain that God is going to give me that chance. Remember, God is STILL in the miracle business! Have a blessed weekend, dear friends and thank God for the people he has brought into your life!
Friday, May 18, 2012
Worst Case Scenario
It's another beautiful day here in the Midwest! Aren't they all if we are given the chance to open our eyes in the morning? I hope you all are having a wonderful week (and of course anticipating the weekend)!
Yesterday as we patiently awaited the arrival of the surgeon in his office, my oldest son (he's seven) and I discussed a positive "worst case scenario" involving the broken radius he obtained nearly four weeks ago. I constantly try to see and verbalize the positive and good things in all situations. I knew my son wanted his second splint off! However, I know that it's probably not likely that they remove a cast only two weeks post surgery.
I decided to use my best, pumped-up, energetic, mom attitude to approach the POSITIVE in the situation. You see, my son and others wanted to say things like "Oh, well you can't play baseball anymore & you definitely will have to have a restful summer." While I prepared him for the worst, (which would be six more weeks in a hard cast, no baseball, no soccer, no water) I succeeded! My goal was to get him excited about going into a hard cast and dealing with the frustration of learning to do things with your non-dominant arm. I did it!
I could NOT believe that after all of the negativity he would be excited! I'm not a pessimist, but I feel that if I prepare (as much as one can prepare if that is possible) for the absolute "worst case scenario," then when you receive ANY news that things are BETTER than you anticipated you find yourself elated!
While we didn't talk much or focus on what he can't do & being in a cast for another four to six weeks, we DID talk non-stop about the new and exciting things that we couldn't do before, a cool new cast color, and focusing on the fun things he CAN do! The smile and high fives that took over the atmosphere of the room seemed to drown out a relatives woes and negativity. SUCCESS! I mean, who wouldn't be excited to wear a shorter cast, pick a cool color, and be able to play two more final games of soccer? :) Yes, the list of don'ts and cant's outweigh the dos and cans. The point is, my son never thought of this. Why? Because, I'm trying to teach him to see the positive things and good in each situation in life.
"You keep me going when times are tough- my bedrock, God, since my childhood." Psalm 71:5
How often do you hear "I'm having a bad day!" at 8 a.m. or negative comments due to a situation that CAN be made better by a simple change of perspective? In my case, I have found that some people choose to be negative no matter what. I know that no matter what I ask them about their week, day, hour, etc. there is going to be nothing but complaints in response. Who wants to be around those people? Not me! Have we all been that person at some point? Absolutely!
I think the life has enough tragedies, pain, heartaches, and troubles. I strive to be a ray of light to those who only see darkness. I want to be someone that people actually enjoy being around. Laughter is contagious as is the "debbie downer syndrome." Which do you want to reflect yourself? Which do you prefer rub off on your loved ones, family, & friends? Smile even when you think you can't. Laugh and find the good in ALL situations. Try that for even ONE DAY and see how much further that will get you. If you are an evidence or factual person, pick up a copy of Dale Carnegie's "How to win friends and influence people." I haven't read the book in years, but I'm next to certain Mr. Carnegie would tell you something along the same lines.
"You need not be afraid of disaster or destruction that comes upon the wicked, for the Lord is your security. He will keep your foot from being caught in a trap." Proverbs 3:25-26
MAKE each day a great day! If you see that you are going to allow spilled coffee, poor attitudes, or others to make your entire day (or even an hour of your precious time) doomed to gloom, recognize it and turn it around. YOU have the power to do that! Make it a great weekend, sweet friends and may you all see God's blessings and goodness around you~
Yesterday as we patiently awaited the arrival of the surgeon in his office, my oldest son (he's seven) and I discussed a positive "worst case scenario" involving the broken radius he obtained nearly four weeks ago. I constantly try to see and verbalize the positive and good things in all situations. I knew my son wanted his second splint off! However, I know that it's probably not likely that they remove a cast only two weeks post surgery.
I decided to use my best, pumped-up, energetic, mom attitude to approach the POSITIVE in the situation. You see, my son and others wanted to say things like "Oh, well you can't play baseball anymore & you definitely will have to have a restful summer." While I prepared him for the worst, (which would be six more weeks in a hard cast, no baseball, no soccer, no water) I succeeded! My goal was to get him excited about going into a hard cast and dealing with the frustration of learning to do things with your non-dominant arm. I did it!
I could NOT believe that after all of the negativity he would be excited! I'm not a pessimist, but I feel that if I prepare (as much as one can prepare if that is possible) for the absolute "worst case scenario," then when you receive ANY news that things are BETTER than you anticipated you find yourself elated!
While we didn't talk much or focus on what he can't do & being in a cast for another four to six weeks, we DID talk non-stop about the new and exciting things that we couldn't do before, a cool new cast color, and focusing on the fun things he CAN do! The smile and high fives that took over the atmosphere of the room seemed to drown out a relatives woes and negativity. SUCCESS! I mean, who wouldn't be excited to wear a shorter cast, pick a cool color, and be able to play two more final games of soccer? :) Yes, the list of don'ts and cant's outweigh the dos and cans. The point is, my son never thought of this. Why? Because, I'm trying to teach him to see the positive things and good in each situation in life.
"You keep me going when times are tough- my bedrock, God, since my childhood." Psalm 71:5
How often do you hear "I'm having a bad day!" at 8 a.m. or negative comments due to a situation that CAN be made better by a simple change of perspective? In my case, I have found that some people choose to be negative no matter what. I know that no matter what I ask them about their week, day, hour, etc. there is going to be nothing but complaints in response. Who wants to be around those people? Not me! Have we all been that person at some point? Absolutely!
I think the life has enough tragedies, pain, heartaches, and troubles. I strive to be a ray of light to those who only see darkness. I want to be someone that people actually enjoy being around. Laughter is contagious as is the "debbie downer syndrome." Which do you want to reflect yourself? Which do you prefer rub off on your loved ones, family, & friends? Smile even when you think you can't. Laugh and find the good in ALL situations. Try that for even ONE DAY and see how much further that will get you. If you are an evidence or factual person, pick up a copy of Dale Carnegie's "How to win friends and influence people." I haven't read the book in years, but I'm next to certain Mr. Carnegie would tell you something along the same lines.
"You need not be afraid of disaster or destruction that comes upon the wicked, for the Lord is your security. He will keep your foot from being caught in a trap." Proverbs 3:25-26
MAKE each day a great day! If you see that you are going to allow spilled coffee, poor attitudes, or others to make your entire day (or even an hour of your precious time) doomed to gloom, recognize it and turn it around. YOU have the power to do that! Make it a great weekend, sweet friends and may you all see God's blessings and goodness around you~
Tuesday, May 15, 2012
Happy Belated Mother's Day
I hope you all had the best Mother's Day in the history of Mother's Days! I am thankful and blessed to have been able to spend the day with three of the strongest and most admirable women I know (my mother, grandmother, and step-grandmother).
I'm sure it was a tough day for some of you who have lost your mothers, grandmothers, or great grandmothers. My heart goes out to you all and I understand the pain you may feel. I couldn't help but remember my grandmother and great grandmother on Mother's Day. I think of them often, but on this day they were both weighing heavy on my heart (even though they have both been hanging out with God in heaven since I was around the age of nine).
I suppose the thoughts and feelings I had and still have for my loved ones that have passed are normal. I wish they could see their grandsons and I hope that they are pleased with my parenting. I know this may be selfish, but I can't help but think that I wish they could see my sweet boys and I now. However, I know that heaven is a much better place and they probably wouldn't return to this Earth if they could! Knowing they were both Christian women gives me hope and comfort. I hope God has chosen them both to be our guardian angels, because I know they would be perfect candidates for the job (even if it is an extremely busy one!).
My sweeties and I spent Mother's Day moving from house to house after church. I'm NOT complaining. I'm extremely thankful! As you all know, holidays are quite different for the boys and I. Before I became a single mom, I'm certain I took many holidays for granted. I had no idea then that one day I'd have to send my youngest to his daddy's house for half of the holidays. Sadly, it wasn't until our holidays changed forever that I learned to cherish and value every second of them (crazy busy or not!).
I spent the night before Mother's Day wide awake in bed. I can function on three to four hours of sleep for a day or two, but my body and mind can run on a few hours of sleep for more than a couple consecutive nights. My precious boys have a bedtime for a reason & I'm thinking that this mommy needs a bedtime for a reason also!
We successfully made it to church, sat through church, visited three mothers, & skipped nap time! It was a wonderful day. I received my FAVORITE kind of gifts and cards, which are the thoughtful, heartfelt, & homemade kind. It's nice to be presented with a "Mother of the year award, A letter to the Editor explaining that I should win the award for many reasons." Do I want to be "Mother of the Year?" Absolutely not! That's an impossible role for me to fill, but when my seven year old showed me the letter he had written to an editor explaining why I should win this award, my heart was overflowing. My seven year old thinks I'm pretty, not mean, and an awesome mom! That means more to me than anything money can buy! I hope this means I'm doing my job as a mom correctly & I prefer to be a mom that is raising sweet boys that God is pleased with as well.
"Dear Friends, if we feel at ease in the presence of God, we will have the courage to come near him. He will give us whatever we ask, because we obey him and do what pleases him." 1 John 3:21-22
In my opinion, the MOST important thing is being a Godly mother. Being a great mother is important too, but I know that I will be held accountable for the way I raise my boys and I'm working hard to ensure they are men of God.
It is pretty basic to me, but if you think about it long enough it will tug at your heart strings. Are we all setting the examples not only for our children see, but for everyone we come in contact with? Are we an inspiration or the kind of person that no one aspires to be? I KNOW I'm not perfect, but I've finally reached a place in my life where I'm certain that God is smiling (MOST of the time) at the mom I am and the example I try to set.
I hope you all find yourself answering those questions knowing that you all are the example you want to set for your children and other people. I know that we all may be the only Jesus some people will ever see. Don't get me wrong, I'm not saying that we should pack everyday with a list of "good deeds" to do. I think we should simply go by the golden rule.
I have so much more to learn and plenty of room for improvement as a mommy, but I'm content knowing that I've come so far and I'm so much better than I used to be. Guess what? We will all continue to grow and better ourselves if we only try. I know God doesn't expect super heroes out of any of us, which is a good thing because I'm FAR from that.
"For if a man is in Christ he becomes a new person altogether--the past is finished and gone, everything has become fresh and new." 2 Corinthians 5:17
I hope you all are having a wonderful week filled with laughter, rest, and happiness. May God Bless you all and Happy belated Mother's Day from this mommy to you! I admire, respect, and appreciate all you all do (even if you don't have children). Being a mommy is THE BEST job title I've ever been given, but it's also the hardest (and usually in most cases moms do so many things that go without a simple "thank you" or any kind of acknowledgement). I acknowledge you all and wish I could high five you all for being (and working on being better) wonderful mommies and readers. Have a wonderful week!
I'm sure it was a tough day for some of you who have lost your mothers, grandmothers, or great grandmothers. My heart goes out to you all and I understand the pain you may feel. I couldn't help but remember my grandmother and great grandmother on Mother's Day. I think of them often, but on this day they were both weighing heavy on my heart (even though they have both been hanging out with God in heaven since I was around the age of nine).
I suppose the thoughts and feelings I had and still have for my loved ones that have passed are normal. I wish they could see their grandsons and I hope that they are pleased with my parenting. I know this may be selfish, but I can't help but think that I wish they could see my sweet boys and I now. However, I know that heaven is a much better place and they probably wouldn't return to this Earth if they could! Knowing they were both Christian women gives me hope and comfort. I hope God has chosen them both to be our guardian angels, because I know they would be perfect candidates for the job (even if it is an extremely busy one!).
My sweeties and I spent Mother's Day moving from house to house after church. I'm NOT complaining. I'm extremely thankful! As you all know, holidays are quite different for the boys and I. Before I became a single mom, I'm certain I took many holidays for granted. I had no idea then that one day I'd have to send my youngest to his daddy's house for half of the holidays. Sadly, it wasn't until our holidays changed forever that I learned to cherish and value every second of them (crazy busy or not!).
I spent the night before Mother's Day wide awake in bed. I can function on three to four hours of sleep for a day or two, but my body and mind can run on a few hours of sleep for more than a couple consecutive nights. My precious boys have a bedtime for a reason & I'm thinking that this mommy needs a bedtime for a reason also!
We successfully made it to church, sat through church, visited three mothers, & skipped nap time! It was a wonderful day. I received my FAVORITE kind of gifts and cards, which are the thoughtful, heartfelt, & homemade kind. It's nice to be presented with a "Mother of the year award, A letter to the Editor explaining that I should win the award for many reasons." Do I want to be "Mother of the Year?" Absolutely not! That's an impossible role for me to fill, but when my seven year old showed me the letter he had written to an editor explaining why I should win this award, my heart was overflowing. My seven year old thinks I'm pretty, not mean, and an awesome mom! That means more to me than anything money can buy! I hope this means I'm doing my job as a mom correctly & I prefer to be a mom that is raising sweet boys that God is pleased with as well.
"Dear Friends, if we feel at ease in the presence of God, we will have the courage to come near him. He will give us whatever we ask, because we obey him and do what pleases him." 1 John 3:21-22
In my opinion, the MOST important thing is being a Godly mother. Being a great mother is important too, but I know that I will be held accountable for the way I raise my boys and I'm working hard to ensure they are men of God.
It is pretty basic to me, but if you think about it long enough it will tug at your heart strings. Are we all setting the examples not only for our children see, but for everyone we come in contact with? Are we an inspiration or the kind of person that no one aspires to be? I KNOW I'm not perfect, but I've finally reached a place in my life where I'm certain that God is smiling (MOST of the time) at the mom I am and the example I try to set.
I hope you all find yourself answering those questions knowing that you all are the example you want to set for your children and other people. I know that we all may be the only Jesus some people will ever see. Don't get me wrong, I'm not saying that we should pack everyday with a list of "good deeds" to do. I think we should simply go by the golden rule.
I have so much more to learn and plenty of room for improvement as a mommy, but I'm content knowing that I've come so far and I'm so much better than I used to be. Guess what? We will all continue to grow and better ourselves if we only try. I know God doesn't expect super heroes out of any of us, which is a good thing because I'm FAR from that.
"For if a man is in Christ he becomes a new person altogether--the past is finished and gone, everything has become fresh and new." 2 Corinthians 5:17
I hope you all are having a wonderful week filled with laughter, rest, and happiness. May God Bless you all and Happy belated Mother's Day from this mommy to you! I admire, respect, and appreciate all you all do (even if you don't have children). Being a mommy is THE BEST job title I've ever been given, but it's also the hardest (and usually in most cases moms do so many things that go without a simple "thank you" or any kind of acknowledgement). I acknowledge you all and wish I could high five you all for being (and working on being better) wonderful mommies and readers. Have a wonderful week!
Thursday, May 10, 2012
Attitude Is Everything
Good morning! It's officially Friday eve!! Yes, I'm ready for the weekend :) I hope you all are doing wonderful and are all filled with happiness. Life is short and I think it's important to be happy & have a positive attitude.
I have to admit, sometimes I'm not always chipper. I've learned that whenever life throws a curve ball my way to try to deal with it and instantly go right back to being happy, chipper, and smiling!
This morning I wasn't so chipper. I've told you all before that we have "visitation" with my oldest son's cat, Sammy. It's funny. Have I told you I'm not a cat person? Last night, my seven year old had one hour to make a visual model of his invention for school. He chose to make a cat car (which means mommy has to make an invention). The invention had to be something that could help you do a task. I asked him what task a cat car could help him do. He told me it was designed to hit the snooze button on his alarm for him and to drive himself to the door where he could go outside to the liter box!
I have finished the cat car! Sammy the cat stays at our house on school nights and goes back to grandmother's house every morning. The idea behind the "cat visitation" was to get my oldest son unafraid to sleep alone.
This morning I jumped out of bed when I realized that NOT ONE of my THREE alarms had gone off (yes, my son gets the "snooze button syndrome" from his mommy!)! I jumped up with Sammy on me and my oldest had snuck into my bed(Sammy also ATE the third power balance bracelet!) I ran around like a mad woman to get everyone out the door and to school and daycare on time. We made it! Well, almost. How could I forget the cat car invention at home along with my oldest son's sling for his broken arm?!?
Rush, rush, rush. My seven year old said "Moooooom! I feel like you are rushing me and I don't like to be rushed!" Guess what? I don't like to rush either. After I took the two vital items back to school, I realized that instead of letting a hectic morning ruin my day, I'd take a different approach. I still have plenty of time to be where I need to be and make it on time. There is no reason a crazy hour and half should define the rest of my day. It won't. I apologized to my sweet boys and told them I was sorry for rushing them to be out the door on time.
My seven year old cat lover is learning this lesson. I tell him usually once a day "B, you need to change your attitude." No one wants to hear complaining and griping. He hangs out with an avid complainer, but that doesn't mean my B should act like someone else. I put him on my bed and give him a few minutes to think about POSITIVE things and then when he has decided that life isn't so bad, the world isn't going to stop spinning, I let him get up. Funny how that works! He always gets up and the complaining ends and he is happy again.
"Surely God does not reject a blameless man or strengthen the hands of evildoers. He will fill yet your mouth with laughter and your lips with shouts of joy." Job 8:20-21
If I'm trying to teach this lesson to my child, then I can NOT act that way. Think about it. Who wants to call a business and hear a rude voice on the other end? No one wants to hear griping and complaining either. I promise you that everyone has walked through a rough path at some point in life. I admire those who smile when I know they are hurting. That takes a strong person to do so.
I've had plenty of times where I had a TERRIBLE attitude. Sometimes it takes more than an hour for me to change my mindset. The great news is I am aware of my thinking and actions and when I notice I'm not happy, I change my mood quickly! We are responsible for our OWN actions and thoughts. It's NOT someone elses fault that I overslept. No one can MAKE you feel any way. We chose our own emotions. I know, I know.. But, you don't know what so and so did! It doesn't matter who has hurt you. What matters is how YOU and I react.
"If our minds are ruled by our desires, we will die. But if our minds are ruled by the Spirit, we will have life and peace." Romans 8:6
If you are a parent, friend, or work outside the home then guess what? Your actions affect those around you! Try being happy and nice if things are bad. See what happens! Laughter is contagious and so is your attitude. Attitude is everything. I believe it reflects our hearts and I want the world to see a happy heart out of me. Which do you want?
Try being nice today to a stranger, friend, or loved one (a simple random act of kindness, smile, kind words, etc) and see how much further that will get you as opposed to the alternative. Whomever said it takes more muscles to smile than frown knew EXACTLY what they were talking about. You never know what someone else is going through, so be nice and make someones day!
"Our Lord is great and powerful! He understands everything. The Lord helps the poor, but smears the wicked in the dirt." Psalm 147:5-6
Make it a great day (and if you are having trouble SURELY knowing it's Friday Eve will cheer you up!) and I pray that you all see God's blessings!
I have to admit, sometimes I'm not always chipper. I've learned that whenever life throws a curve ball my way to try to deal with it and instantly go right back to being happy, chipper, and smiling!
This morning I wasn't so chipper. I've told you all before that we have "visitation" with my oldest son's cat, Sammy. It's funny. Have I told you I'm not a cat person? Last night, my seven year old had one hour to make a visual model of his invention for school. He chose to make a cat car (which means mommy has to make an invention). The invention had to be something that could help you do a task. I asked him what task a cat car could help him do. He told me it was designed to hit the snooze button on his alarm for him and to drive himself to the door where he could go outside to the liter box!
I have finished the cat car! Sammy the cat stays at our house on school nights and goes back to grandmother's house every morning. The idea behind the "cat visitation" was to get my oldest son unafraid to sleep alone.
This morning I jumped out of bed when I realized that NOT ONE of my THREE alarms had gone off (yes, my son gets the "snooze button syndrome" from his mommy!)! I jumped up with Sammy on me and my oldest had snuck into my bed(Sammy also ATE the third power balance bracelet!) I ran around like a mad woman to get everyone out the door and to school and daycare on time. We made it! Well, almost. How could I forget the cat car invention at home along with my oldest son's sling for his broken arm?!?
Rush, rush, rush. My seven year old said "Moooooom! I feel like you are rushing me and I don't like to be rushed!" Guess what? I don't like to rush either. After I took the two vital items back to school, I realized that instead of letting a hectic morning ruin my day, I'd take a different approach. I still have plenty of time to be where I need to be and make it on time. There is no reason a crazy hour and half should define the rest of my day. It won't. I apologized to my sweet boys and told them I was sorry for rushing them to be out the door on time.
My seven year old cat lover is learning this lesson. I tell him usually once a day "B, you need to change your attitude." No one wants to hear complaining and griping. He hangs out with an avid complainer, but that doesn't mean my B should act like someone else. I put him on my bed and give him a few minutes to think about POSITIVE things and then when he has decided that life isn't so bad, the world isn't going to stop spinning, I let him get up. Funny how that works! He always gets up and the complaining ends and he is happy again.
"Surely God does not reject a blameless man or strengthen the hands of evildoers. He will fill yet your mouth with laughter and your lips with shouts of joy." Job 8:20-21
If I'm trying to teach this lesson to my child, then I can NOT act that way. Think about it. Who wants to call a business and hear a rude voice on the other end? No one wants to hear griping and complaining either. I promise you that everyone has walked through a rough path at some point in life. I admire those who smile when I know they are hurting. That takes a strong person to do so.
I've had plenty of times where I had a TERRIBLE attitude. Sometimes it takes more than an hour for me to change my mindset. The great news is I am aware of my thinking and actions and when I notice I'm not happy, I change my mood quickly! We are responsible for our OWN actions and thoughts. It's NOT someone elses fault that I overslept. No one can MAKE you feel any way. We chose our own emotions. I know, I know.. But, you don't know what so and so did! It doesn't matter who has hurt you. What matters is how YOU and I react.
"If our minds are ruled by our desires, we will die. But if our minds are ruled by the Spirit, we will have life and peace." Romans 8:6
If you are a parent, friend, or work outside the home then guess what? Your actions affect those around you! Try being happy and nice if things are bad. See what happens! Laughter is contagious and so is your attitude. Attitude is everything. I believe it reflects our hearts and I want the world to see a happy heart out of me. Which do you want?
Try being nice today to a stranger, friend, or loved one (a simple random act of kindness, smile, kind words, etc) and see how much further that will get you as opposed to the alternative. Whomever said it takes more muscles to smile than frown knew EXACTLY what they were talking about. You never know what someone else is going through, so be nice and make someones day!
"Our Lord is great and powerful! He understands everything. The Lord helps the poor, but smears the wicked in the dirt." Psalm 147:5-6
Make it a great day (and if you are having trouble SURELY knowing it's Friday Eve will cheer you up!) and I pray that you all see God's blessings!
Wednesday, May 9, 2012
The Ultimate Protector
I hope you all are having a wonderful week! I'm so thankful and blessed beyond words for the wonderful life God has given me. Today has been a busy one and I hoping I'll find my "second wind" soon.
I've been thinking a ton lately about all of my roles as a single mommy. Being a single mommy doesn't define who I am, but it is a HUGE part of my life and actions. It has been a wonderful and rewarding ride, and it's also been an adjustment to say the least. It seems to be that as soon as I think "I've got this single parent stuff," I learn another lesson in life. I'm grateful that God trusts me so much to give me all these different hats to wear and that he trusts someone like ME to be able to be mommy.
Last night my youngest son decided to test my skills with a late night trip to the emergency room. You'd think that after all the times we have been that those trips with sick sweeties would get easier for me. It hasn't yet and I can't even count all the times we have been! I'm not a rush to the doctor or hospital kind of person either.
My youngest (22 months) had a fever that wouldn't be reduced from medication, a warm bath, and as much liquid as I could force him to drink. When I saw the thermometer read 104.5, I think I went into something I like to think of as survival mode blended with tons of adrenaline! Thank goodness dad came or I'm not sure I'd have made it as the doctor proceeded to tell me there wasn't ever a reason to bring anyone with a fever unless it's 108!
I didn't panic, but I'm sure if I was watching the clock I would have seen that I may have set a record time for getting to the emergency room. A wonderful official turned on his blue lights, and I turned on my flashers (I didn't get a ticket, nor did I get stopped thank goodness). I knew that I was close and nobody was going to come between my sick baby and getting him better as quickly as I could.
I began to realize today (after ten days, two boys, two emergency room visits, 2 splints, & one surgery)
that it is my job to make sure my sweet boys are protected. That's a HUGE responsibility when you have BOYS who act like boys!
Sometimes I forget that God is their ultimate protector and healer. That lifts a ton of weight from my shoulders! I used to wonder why a loving God would allow pain & sickness. I don't have the answers, but I know in my situation God uses these events to teach me something. I've just felt that based upon the past week and half God may want me to know that not only does he have my life in his hands, but he has my little sweeties in his hands as well.
Here's the part where God answers prayers and this is only one example. I've always dreamed of co-parenting with my ex-husband. I understand that this isn't an easy thing to do in the beginning (or ever), but it IS what I believe is best.
I've prayed for so long for God to open the door of difficult communication. He has! Did the co-parenting begin when I thought it should? Of course NOT! It happened when God knew it was right and I'm elated about it!
It is extremely difficult for me to see how God works circumstances out for a reason sometimes, but I'm beginning to take a closer look and becoming more receptive to God. It is amazing!
I pray that you all are able to see and feel God work in your lives and in others. Make it a great week & remember that God is the ultimate healer & protector. I promise you he is actively working in our lives. We just have to choose to see these things!
I've been thinking a ton lately about all of my roles as a single mommy. Being a single mommy doesn't define who I am, but it is a HUGE part of my life and actions. It has been a wonderful and rewarding ride, and it's also been an adjustment to say the least. It seems to be that as soon as I think "I've got this single parent stuff," I learn another lesson in life. I'm grateful that God trusts me so much to give me all these different hats to wear and that he trusts someone like ME to be able to be mommy.
Last night my youngest son decided to test my skills with a late night trip to the emergency room. You'd think that after all the times we have been that those trips with sick sweeties would get easier for me. It hasn't yet and I can't even count all the times we have been! I'm not a rush to the doctor or hospital kind of person either.
My youngest (22 months) had a fever that wouldn't be reduced from medication, a warm bath, and as much liquid as I could force him to drink. When I saw the thermometer read 104.5, I think I went into something I like to think of as survival mode blended with tons of adrenaline! Thank goodness dad came or I'm not sure I'd have made it as the doctor proceeded to tell me there wasn't ever a reason to bring anyone with a fever unless it's 108!
I didn't panic, but I'm sure if I was watching the clock I would have seen that I may have set a record time for getting to the emergency room. A wonderful official turned on his blue lights, and I turned on my flashers (I didn't get a ticket, nor did I get stopped thank goodness). I knew that I was close and nobody was going to come between my sick baby and getting him better as quickly as I could.
I began to realize today (after ten days, two boys, two emergency room visits, 2 splints, & one surgery)
that it is my job to make sure my sweet boys are protected. That's a HUGE responsibility when you have BOYS who act like boys!
Sometimes I forget that God is their ultimate protector and healer. That lifts a ton of weight from my shoulders! I used to wonder why a loving God would allow pain & sickness. I don't have the answers, but I know in my situation God uses these events to teach me something. I've just felt that based upon the past week and half God may want me to know that not only does he have my life in his hands, but he has my little sweeties in his hands as well.
Here's the part where God answers prayers and this is only one example. I've always dreamed of co-parenting with my ex-husband. I understand that this isn't an easy thing to do in the beginning (or ever), but it IS what I believe is best.
I've prayed for so long for God to open the door of difficult communication. He has! Did the co-parenting begin when I thought it should? Of course NOT! It happened when God knew it was right and I'm elated about it!
It is extremely difficult for me to see how God works circumstances out for a reason sometimes, but I'm beginning to take a closer look and becoming more receptive to God. It is amazing!
I pray that you all are able to see and feel God work in your lives and in others. Make it a great week & remember that God is the ultimate healer & protector. I promise you he is actively working in our lives. We just have to choose to see these things!
Sunday, May 6, 2012
Imperfect Mom
When I was a little girl, I never dreamed my life would be as it is. I'm assuming that I, like all girls (and some women I know) dreamed of having the fairytale life and living happily every after. It took me many years, probably too many to discover that fairy tales are just that. Movies are just that also. The media and society portray perfection. Take a look at a magazine cover or go rent a "chick flick."
I was raised around perfection and always wanted to be "perfect," until I discovered there is no such thing as perfect. God is the only perfect I know. I did great in school and college and tried to make A's. I didn't want a 90, which is an A. I wanted a 100! I wanted all or nothing. Don't worry, later in life I sucked up my pride and took a couple of C's due to being a single mommy. I decided I'd rather have a C and spend time with my boys than to strive for perfection! Sounds simple, but I know some of you can relate and it IS SO HARD for me to not have the constant need to obtain perfection.
When I started on my single mom journey, I found out quickly that I needed some time to myself. Sounds selfish I know. However, I wanted and still want to be the best mommy I can be and sometimes that requires what I like to call "re-charging your batteries." I believe everyone (mom or not) needs time to renew their strength, body, mind, soul, and spirit. My favorite speaker said that we all need a day of rest. A WHOLE day! Why would this seem like a foreign concept to me? I know God took a day of rest, but he created the world and I'm sure he was MUCH more worn than I've ever been or ever will be.
I decided to take up running and let that be what re-charged my batteries. I couldn't do much at first, but I quickly learned that no matter what had happened a short or long jog/walk would always make things better. Running has helped me to put things into perspective in a different view. It gives me time to sort out all those files that are stored in your brain and acheive new obstacles.
I'm still a perfectionist, people pleaser, and I like to keep the peace. I struggle with these characteristics sometimes. I know that I can't make anyone happy and that happiness is choice. I chose to be happy a long time ago, no matter what life threw my way. Yes, I have emotions, but life is full of changes and challenges so I think it's best to try to smile, pick yourself up and keep going.
"My health may fail, and my spirit may grow weak, but God remains the strength of my heart; he is mine forever." PSALM 73:26
I'm changing and growing and am proud to tell you that I don't care as much as I used to about what others think. I am blessed with amazing friends and family and a God who loves me and my sweeties no matter what. In the end, that is the MOST important factor to me. It's not about other mommies, family members, friends, society, etc. and what they think is best. Who could know what is best for you and your family other than God? I believe God has given me a level head and with his help, guidance, and love anything is possible! The point is, I'm better than I ever have been about seeking God's direction and protection for my boys and I. If others don't approve or don't like the way we live, it doesn't bother me much anymore. I am next to certain that as long as you are trying your best and doing what's right, it's difficult to go wrong.
Keeping the peace. Ahhhh! That one is still a work in progress. It took me a LONG time to realize that I can't change anyone but myself. Therefore, I am responsible for me and my behavior only. I loathe arguing and fighting. Life is too short and we aren't guaranteed another breath. I do my best to be kind to everyone and not hold grudges. If we all held grudges, who would you have left in your life? I know in my life, I'd have God and no one else. I also think it's so damaging to anyone to hold on to anger. I've seen depression in it's worst form and it is not pretty. A wise man once told me that people get depressed whenever anger is turned inward and we stuff everything down inside.
I don't like to go to sleep angry. I am the type of person (believe it or not everyone has a different arguing style) that wants to talk things through and work out a solution right then! I don't want to wait until days later! Guess what? Maybe half the people on Earth are that way. The other half like to not talk about it, let time pass and then they are okay with what previously happened. I've learned to respect that everyone has different styles and just because someone doesn't have the same style as I doesn't mean for one second that I don't respect them. Once you have learned this, you can easily detect whether someone wants to talk things out then, run away from it, ignore, or simply wait for time to pass.
It is SO hard for me to not be able to resolve things RIGHT THEN! However, it's always best that I detect and recognize what the other person wants and respect that. Life isn't fair, and that's okay. I'm glad we are all unique. I promise you I have patience, I just want everyone to get along and sing Kum by yah together. Sometimes it is impossible. I do what I know to do, what I think is right, apologize when I am wrong or have done wrong, and move on period. If you hang on to anger, you are only hurting yourself. I promise you that the other person will not stay tied to that anger. Let go of it and give it to God.
"God-defiers are always in trouble; God-affirmers find themselves loved every time they turn around." PSALM 32:10
I could write to you all day long about my imperfections. I have nothing to hide and am filled with flaws. I do believe that beauty does lie in the eye of the beholder. I want and strive to be the person who is beautiful on the inside. Outward appearance is something we can't change. What's in our hearts and souls is what matters the most.
You see, God knew WAY BEFORE I did that he wanted me just as I am. He wants us all just as we are and he created us just the way he intended. Don't get me wrong, I'm not saying any of us should ever stop working on being better people or that God wants us to live outside of what he has planned for our lives. I only mean that I believe we all should continually work on being better. If I stopped working on my flaws, friendships, relationships, work, and mommy role then I'd feel as if I'd given up and quit.
I know that I ALWAYS have room for improvement (can you sense the perfectionism?) and my sweet boys deserve THE BEST! Children depend on their parents and look to them for guidance. It's my job to be a role model and teach my sweet boys how to be men of God who are designed to have wonderful lives.
I hope you all have a blessed day and a wonderful week! Take some time out for YOU. I promise the rest of all those "things" you have to do will still be waiting for you to do when you are done. My prayer is that you embrace your imperfections and flaws and don't beat yourself up about them. God bless you all!
I was raised around perfection and always wanted to be "perfect," until I discovered there is no such thing as perfect. God is the only perfect I know. I did great in school and college and tried to make A's. I didn't want a 90, which is an A. I wanted a 100! I wanted all or nothing. Don't worry, later in life I sucked up my pride and took a couple of C's due to being a single mommy. I decided I'd rather have a C and spend time with my boys than to strive for perfection! Sounds simple, but I know some of you can relate and it IS SO HARD for me to not have the constant need to obtain perfection.
When I started on my single mom journey, I found out quickly that I needed some time to myself. Sounds selfish I know. However, I wanted and still want to be the best mommy I can be and sometimes that requires what I like to call "re-charging your batteries." I believe everyone (mom or not) needs time to renew their strength, body, mind, soul, and spirit. My favorite speaker said that we all need a day of rest. A WHOLE day! Why would this seem like a foreign concept to me? I know God took a day of rest, but he created the world and I'm sure he was MUCH more worn than I've ever been or ever will be.
I decided to take up running and let that be what re-charged my batteries. I couldn't do much at first, but I quickly learned that no matter what had happened a short or long jog/walk would always make things better. Running has helped me to put things into perspective in a different view. It gives me time to sort out all those files that are stored in your brain and acheive new obstacles.
I'm still a perfectionist, people pleaser, and I like to keep the peace. I struggle with these characteristics sometimes. I know that I can't make anyone happy and that happiness is choice. I chose to be happy a long time ago, no matter what life threw my way. Yes, I have emotions, but life is full of changes and challenges so I think it's best to try to smile, pick yourself up and keep going.
"My health may fail, and my spirit may grow weak, but God remains the strength of my heart; he is mine forever." PSALM 73:26
I'm changing and growing and am proud to tell you that I don't care as much as I used to about what others think. I am blessed with amazing friends and family and a God who loves me and my sweeties no matter what. In the end, that is the MOST important factor to me. It's not about other mommies, family members, friends, society, etc. and what they think is best. Who could know what is best for you and your family other than God? I believe God has given me a level head and with his help, guidance, and love anything is possible! The point is, I'm better than I ever have been about seeking God's direction and protection for my boys and I. If others don't approve or don't like the way we live, it doesn't bother me much anymore. I am next to certain that as long as you are trying your best and doing what's right, it's difficult to go wrong.
Keeping the peace. Ahhhh! That one is still a work in progress. It took me a LONG time to realize that I can't change anyone but myself. Therefore, I am responsible for me and my behavior only. I loathe arguing and fighting. Life is too short and we aren't guaranteed another breath. I do my best to be kind to everyone and not hold grudges. If we all held grudges, who would you have left in your life? I know in my life, I'd have God and no one else. I also think it's so damaging to anyone to hold on to anger. I've seen depression in it's worst form and it is not pretty. A wise man once told me that people get depressed whenever anger is turned inward and we stuff everything down inside.
I don't like to go to sleep angry. I am the type of person (believe it or not everyone has a different arguing style) that wants to talk things through and work out a solution right then! I don't want to wait until days later! Guess what? Maybe half the people on Earth are that way. The other half like to not talk about it, let time pass and then they are okay with what previously happened. I've learned to respect that everyone has different styles and just because someone doesn't have the same style as I doesn't mean for one second that I don't respect them. Once you have learned this, you can easily detect whether someone wants to talk things out then, run away from it, ignore, or simply wait for time to pass.
It is SO hard for me to not be able to resolve things RIGHT THEN! However, it's always best that I detect and recognize what the other person wants and respect that. Life isn't fair, and that's okay. I'm glad we are all unique. I promise you I have patience, I just want everyone to get along and sing Kum by yah together. Sometimes it is impossible. I do what I know to do, what I think is right, apologize when I am wrong or have done wrong, and move on period. If you hang on to anger, you are only hurting yourself. I promise you that the other person will not stay tied to that anger. Let go of it and give it to God.
"God-defiers are always in trouble; God-affirmers find themselves loved every time they turn around." PSALM 32:10
I could write to you all day long about my imperfections. I have nothing to hide and am filled with flaws. I do believe that beauty does lie in the eye of the beholder. I want and strive to be the person who is beautiful on the inside. Outward appearance is something we can't change. What's in our hearts and souls is what matters the most.
You see, God knew WAY BEFORE I did that he wanted me just as I am. He wants us all just as we are and he created us just the way he intended. Don't get me wrong, I'm not saying any of us should ever stop working on being better people or that God wants us to live outside of what he has planned for our lives. I only mean that I believe we all should continually work on being better. If I stopped working on my flaws, friendships, relationships, work, and mommy role then I'd feel as if I'd given up and quit.
I know that I ALWAYS have room for improvement (can you sense the perfectionism?) and my sweet boys deserve THE BEST! Children depend on their parents and look to them for guidance. It's my job to be a role model and teach my sweet boys how to be men of God who are designed to have wonderful lives.
I hope you all have a blessed day and a wonderful week! Take some time out for YOU. I promise the rest of all those "things" you have to do will still be waiting for you to do when you are done. My prayer is that you embrace your imperfections and flaws and don't beat yourself up about them. God bless you all!
Thursday, May 3, 2012
Dr. Mom
Happy Friday Eve! Yes, I'm excited about the weekend as always! It seems like a month has passed since last weekend. I told God not long ago that I needed our family lives to slow down. I was specific and let him know that soccer twice a week plus baseball and a toddler (and all the other day to day things) has this single mommy worn out! He answered my prayer and gave me a different kind of busy as opposed to the "go, go, go" type of busy.
On April 28th, 2012 it was a gorgeous Saturday and "family day." I took my seven year old and his little buddy to practice baseball at the batting cages. I don't know much about baseball, but I figured I better show him what I knew and help them out. We had a blast, laughed, ran, played (on the playground), and came home to practice more baseball!
Later, my parents asked if my oldest could go fishing. Ahhh! Sure! I can fish, but as you all know I do NOT like critters (that limits fishing because I don't have enough guts to stomach putting a worm on a hook). I skipped the fishing trip and went to see the big catch! Things were great! My oldest wanted to play at his grandparents and I was ready for a little time to catch up on some housework.
Sometimes my smart phone is SO smart that it doesn't even ring and a voicemail will pop up. I can't tell you what the voicemail said other than my seven year old had hurt his arm and my parents were on their way to the ER. I flew out the door in mismatched clothes and flip flops and sped all the way to the ER. I did a ton of praying and let the tears flow then, because I knew it was soon going to be time for me to be calm and comforting. You might think this was our first trip to the ER, but trust me it wasn't. However, it doesn't make it any easier.
I did my best, reassured my sweetie, and stuck by his side throughout his visit even though I was falling apart on the inside and my heart ached for my little guy. I went all out and let him have ANY drink and food he wanted (this isn't usually an option). Given the options of a caffeine and sugar packed mt. dew, coke, etc. he chose water of course! Funny, how that works.
As he was riding his scooter literally twenty minutes before, he hit a dip in the grass and had a wreck. Thank God he had his helmet on. However, this quickly brought tons of insight into my mind. I prayed some more and thanked God that it wasn't worse. I must have forgotten how our lives can change in the blink of an eye and nothing in this world is a guarantee. I won't forget that for a LONG time. I promise.
The doctor told me that he was just scraped up and there was no way his arm was broken or he'd be crying more. I didn't open my mouth and let him know that I am doing my best to raise my boys to be pretty tough. X-rays came back and showed a broken radius. Okay, check please!
I'll go on and let you know that I'm not used to having two children that can't help themselves. There's only one of me and I knew immediately I was going to need help. Have I ever mentioned I loathe asking for help? I try to be supermom, but it's impossible. My youngest is almost 2 and my oldest is almost 7. What do we do now?
Yesterday was the hardest day I've ever witnessed with my seven year old. We saw a surgeon and had surgery in the same day (don't worry, bunny went to surgery also and he is healing up very nicely with a permanent smile on his face). I know that if I panic my child will too. I have to tell you that two elderly family members went with me and both are EXTREMELY panicky. I had to give myself several pep talks and calm three others. Don't panic!
I asked the nurses to tell my sweet panicky family members that only one person could go back. My son and I laid in the hospital bed laughing and playing. I went on and on about how brave he (and bunny--a stuffed animal) were. I actually had him EXCITED about having surgery! Mission accomplished! The worst feeling in the world in this case was fearing my child would have complications, be scared, in pain, etc.
He went right back with the nurses and I'll never forget having to let go of that sweet little hand. Then, it was time to wait. It didn't take long, but it felt like an eternity. The first GREAT news was that he went right to sleep with no complications! Thank you, God. I was concerned about his heart condition, but the doctors assured me he would be fine. He rolled back into his room and was a champ!
I'm not sure why this happened, but I'm guessing it had to do with my prayer of being so busy running two children to different sports at least three times a week after work. You see, God DID answer my prayer. He just failed to tell me I needed to sharpen up on my nursing skills and be extremely patient. I have to remind myself (how could I forget?!) that I have BOYS and they act like boys! Who'd have thought?
So, God has given us exactly what I'd prayed for. We have a four to six week break from sports, but doctor mom is exhausted. Thanks to the amazing family I have, I've had some help and I'm beyond blessed. I'm so glad my son is okay and pain free!
Don't ever forget what you have right in front of your eyes. Don't take it for granted, because it CAN be taken from you in an instant. I'm so glad that we have an awesome God that continues to bless my family, even though I don't deserve it. All of you moms know how it feels to have both halves of your heart in your child or children. I know my priorities and don't ever forget them. God comes first and my family is second. I'd have never made it through these past six days without God period. I can't live my life without God and I'm so thankful for his healing hands that are healing my son's arm as we speak. We are on the road to recovery and new adventures of a life with two children who always need my help and constant care. It's worth every minute of it!
I've made sure to take some time out and thank God. I don't want or need for anything and I'm extremely content. I have two beautiful boys and a new twist on the busy life of a single mommy! I'll take it any day! I'm ready to see how my new job of "Doctor Mom" turns out. So far, so good! Have a wonderful weekend, sweet friends. I hope you all are aware of your blessings. If you aren't, just ask God to open your eyes and see what happens.
On April 28th, 2012 it was a gorgeous Saturday and "family day." I took my seven year old and his little buddy to practice baseball at the batting cages. I don't know much about baseball, but I figured I better show him what I knew and help them out. We had a blast, laughed, ran, played (on the playground), and came home to practice more baseball!
Later, my parents asked if my oldest could go fishing. Ahhh! Sure! I can fish, but as you all know I do NOT like critters (that limits fishing because I don't have enough guts to stomach putting a worm on a hook). I skipped the fishing trip and went to see the big catch! Things were great! My oldest wanted to play at his grandparents and I was ready for a little time to catch up on some housework.
Sometimes my smart phone is SO smart that it doesn't even ring and a voicemail will pop up. I can't tell you what the voicemail said other than my seven year old had hurt his arm and my parents were on their way to the ER. I flew out the door in mismatched clothes and flip flops and sped all the way to the ER. I did a ton of praying and let the tears flow then, because I knew it was soon going to be time for me to be calm and comforting. You might think this was our first trip to the ER, but trust me it wasn't. However, it doesn't make it any easier.
I did my best, reassured my sweetie, and stuck by his side throughout his visit even though I was falling apart on the inside and my heart ached for my little guy. I went all out and let him have ANY drink and food he wanted (this isn't usually an option). Given the options of a caffeine and sugar packed mt. dew, coke, etc. he chose water of course! Funny, how that works.
As he was riding his scooter literally twenty minutes before, he hit a dip in the grass and had a wreck. Thank God he had his helmet on. However, this quickly brought tons of insight into my mind. I prayed some more and thanked God that it wasn't worse. I must have forgotten how our lives can change in the blink of an eye and nothing in this world is a guarantee. I won't forget that for a LONG time. I promise.
The doctor told me that he was just scraped up and there was no way his arm was broken or he'd be crying more. I didn't open my mouth and let him know that I am doing my best to raise my boys to be pretty tough. X-rays came back and showed a broken radius. Okay, check please!
I'll go on and let you know that I'm not used to having two children that can't help themselves. There's only one of me and I knew immediately I was going to need help. Have I ever mentioned I loathe asking for help? I try to be supermom, but it's impossible. My youngest is almost 2 and my oldest is almost 7. What do we do now?
Yesterday was the hardest day I've ever witnessed with my seven year old. We saw a surgeon and had surgery in the same day (don't worry, bunny went to surgery also and he is healing up very nicely with a permanent smile on his face). I know that if I panic my child will too. I have to tell you that two elderly family members went with me and both are EXTREMELY panicky. I had to give myself several pep talks and calm three others. Don't panic!
I asked the nurses to tell my sweet panicky family members that only one person could go back. My son and I laid in the hospital bed laughing and playing. I went on and on about how brave he (and bunny--a stuffed animal) were. I actually had him EXCITED about having surgery! Mission accomplished! The worst feeling in the world in this case was fearing my child would have complications, be scared, in pain, etc.
He went right back with the nurses and I'll never forget having to let go of that sweet little hand. Then, it was time to wait. It didn't take long, but it felt like an eternity. The first GREAT news was that he went right to sleep with no complications! Thank you, God. I was concerned about his heart condition, but the doctors assured me he would be fine. He rolled back into his room and was a champ!
I'm not sure why this happened, but I'm guessing it had to do with my prayer of being so busy running two children to different sports at least three times a week after work. You see, God DID answer my prayer. He just failed to tell me I needed to sharpen up on my nursing skills and be extremely patient. I have to remind myself (how could I forget?!) that I have BOYS and they act like boys! Who'd have thought?
So, God has given us exactly what I'd prayed for. We have a four to six week break from sports, but doctor mom is exhausted. Thanks to the amazing family I have, I've had some help and I'm beyond blessed. I'm so glad my son is okay and pain free!
Don't ever forget what you have right in front of your eyes. Don't take it for granted, because it CAN be taken from you in an instant. I'm so glad that we have an awesome God that continues to bless my family, even though I don't deserve it. All of you moms know how it feels to have both halves of your heart in your child or children. I know my priorities and don't ever forget them. God comes first and my family is second. I'd have never made it through these past six days without God period. I can't live my life without God and I'm so thankful for his healing hands that are healing my son's arm as we speak. We are on the road to recovery and new adventures of a life with two children who always need my help and constant care. It's worth every minute of it!
I've made sure to take some time out and thank God. I don't want or need for anything and I'm extremely content. I have two beautiful boys and a new twist on the busy life of a single mommy! I'll take it any day! I'm ready to see how my new job of "Doctor Mom" turns out. So far, so good! Have a wonderful weekend, sweet friends. I hope you all are aware of your blessings. If you aren't, just ask God to open your eyes and see what happens.
Tuesday, April 24, 2012
It's time!
My youngest son will be two years old in July. I'm assuring you we are going through and have been through most of the terrible twos at eighteen months! I always knew my sweet boys were ahead of the game and progressed early :) I'm kidding. I'm not the mom who talks as if my boys are any more special or advanced than other children for many reasons. Mainly because we are are equal in God's eyes. That's the lesson my seven year old nailed. We will see how it works with my sweet twenty -two month old.
In LESS than SEVEN days my little climber got out of his high chair all by himself! How am I going to shower alone? Put him in his crib, right? Wrong. In the SAME seven days he managed to get out of his crib (you should know it's a full size crib and it's set on the tallest settings) and go to the potty! Are you kidding me?
All I did when he told me he needed to be changed (not in those words, I'll spare you the real words haha) was change him and he didn't need to be changed. I asked him if he wanted to go sit on the potty. Of COURSE he did! He knows there is water in the potty and he LOVES water. That's all it took. However, I'm hoping a whole slew of people will hop on board the potty training wagon or I don't think it will work. I think he needs consistency, but who knows? I remember my oldest being so very difficult to get out of diapers. I promised my oldest a trip to Disney World (when we lived in Orlando) because I didn't feel he was ever going to learn. I'm a believer in "every child is different," and they all do things and hit milestones when they are ready not when we are ready.
I do everything when the boys are in bed or spending time with their dad. All of the housework, cleaning, laundry, and everything else that has to be done gets done after bedtime. Some nights I'm worn out and ready to go to sleep at eight p.m! I asked Santa for a part time nanny or a clone, but I guess he thought the children were more important to visit.
I know most of you moms out there are in the same boat too. I also realize that in general, most men don't partake in cleaning, cooking, laundry, and all the fun stuff that has to be done. I'm not even mentioning getting groceries, running errands, managing the finances, and driving the family taxi! I'm honest & I take all the help I can get if I need it. I can only function on four hours of sleep for so many days before I feel like my brain is shutting down and I'm moving alongside snails.
I've been working harder than ever to become better with being able to save part of my income. It has taken some work! I recently went to a couponing class! Laugh. It's funny, but hey I'm ALL ABOUT saving money and learning how to get things really cheap or free! It's not easy providing for three, and I love to know I'm saving money. I'm going to be able to take my son to a MLB game for his birthday. That's a mini-vacation for my sweeties and I. I'll do whatever it takes (and I told God this whenever it finally sunk in that I was a single mommy) to provide for my boys and it's worth anything, I mean anything to see the excitement on their faces when we do those things!
Tonight is another fun night of soccer (I even soccer mom-ed my trunk with a cargo net to carry baseball stuff, soccer balls and snacks)! Yes, I'm excited! I can't seem to zip my mouth ever when I'm watching my seven year old play. I'm not hard on him ever and I always say positive things, but this mommy gets excited!
My baby isn't such a baby anymore. He's a toddler! I can't believe it. Where does the time go? I love to see him growing and changing as do I with my oldest, but you know it's different with a baby because there are more frequent "first times." It's time for him to be changing rapidly, whether I like it or not. I hope you all are having a great week and take a moment to notice all those blessings around you, even if you have wild little apes like me :)
In LESS than SEVEN days my little climber got out of his high chair all by himself! How am I going to shower alone? Put him in his crib, right? Wrong. In the SAME seven days he managed to get out of his crib (you should know it's a full size crib and it's set on the tallest settings) and go to the potty! Are you kidding me?
All I did when he told me he needed to be changed (not in those words, I'll spare you the real words haha) was change him and he didn't need to be changed. I asked him if he wanted to go sit on the potty. Of COURSE he did! He knows there is water in the potty and he LOVES water. That's all it took. However, I'm hoping a whole slew of people will hop on board the potty training wagon or I don't think it will work. I think he needs consistency, but who knows? I remember my oldest being so very difficult to get out of diapers. I promised my oldest a trip to Disney World (when we lived in Orlando) because I didn't feel he was ever going to learn. I'm a believer in "every child is different," and they all do things and hit milestones when they are ready not when we are ready.
I do everything when the boys are in bed or spending time with their dad. All of the housework, cleaning, laundry, and everything else that has to be done gets done after bedtime. Some nights I'm worn out and ready to go to sleep at eight p.m! I asked Santa for a part time nanny or a clone, but I guess he thought the children were more important to visit.
I know most of you moms out there are in the same boat too. I also realize that in general, most men don't partake in cleaning, cooking, laundry, and all the fun stuff that has to be done. I'm not even mentioning getting groceries, running errands, managing the finances, and driving the family taxi! I'm honest & I take all the help I can get if I need it. I can only function on four hours of sleep for so many days before I feel like my brain is shutting down and I'm moving alongside snails.
I've been working harder than ever to become better with being able to save part of my income. It has taken some work! I recently went to a couponing class! Laugh. It's funny, but hey I'm ALL ABOUT saving money and learning how to get things really cheap or free! It's not easy providing for three, and I love to know I'm saving money. I'm going to be able to take my son to a MLB game for his birthday. That's a mini-vacation for my sweeties and I. I'll do whatever it takes (and I told God this whenever it finally sunk in that I was a single mommy) to provide for my boys and it's worth anything, I mean anything to see the excitement on their faces when we do those things!
Tonight is another fun night of soccer (I even soccer mom-ed my trunk with a cargo net to carry baseball stuff, soccer balls and snacks)! Yes, I'm excited! I can't seem to zip my mouth ever when I'm watching my seven year old play. I'm not hard on him ever and I always say positive things, but this mommy gets excited!
My baby isn't such a baby anymore. He's a toddler! I can't believe it. Where does the time go? I love to see him growing and changing as do I with my oldest, but you know it's different with a baby because there are more frequent "first times." It's time for him to be changing rapidly, whether I like it or not. I hope you all are having a great week and take a moment to notice all those blessings around you, even if you have wild little apes like me :)
Friday, April 20, 2012
Coach Mom
I'm so glad the long anticipated weekend is here & I'm sure if you are like most you are glad to have a two day break from the work week as well!
I'm looking forward to hopefully getting some time to relax this weekend with my sweeties. Recently, my oldest son has started soccer AND baseball (he's seven). This means after work is done every Tuesday, Thursday, Saturday, & Friday this mommy loads up the car and runs to practice and games. My oldest loves sports and I think it's great for him in every aspect. Last night I was asked to coach a boys team (ages 4-6). At this age, they don't have referees so the coaches run the fields, make the calls, and encourage these sweet little ones. I had a blast! I've been a soccer mom for two years & I always thought coaching would be too much for me. I've decided to coach next season and I can NOT wait!! What's wrong with me! Someone needs to put a shock collar on me :) I'm tired! Don't get me wrong, I'm not sleepy, just tired of the "go, go, go" mode. However, I wouldn't trade those precious moments for anything in the world. I never dreamed I'd sign up for MORE responsibilities, but my little soccer star looked me in the eyes and said "Mom, I wish you were my coach." That's all it took. Done. Sealed. Stamped. That's it. I'm in!
I'm so glad he has the opportunity to play and isn't restricted from sports. Every year it is a possibility that he will be told he can't play sports. It's always based on a pediatric cardiologist's recommendation every year.
I knew whenever my seven year old was old enough to have a personality of his own that he had a special heart. I couldn't ask for a more compassionate and giving little boy. His heart is filled with a yearning to do good things for others. It warms my heart! When he was two, we were sent to see a pediatric cardiologist due to a "clicking" in his heart. After all the tests were done and the wait to finally see someone who specializes in the area, I was told that my son had BAV (Bicuspid Aortic Valve-- in his heart). This means that a healthy human has three valves that send blood to and from the heart. My B only has two. The two he has work harder than they should have to because they are working extra hard to make up for the loss of the third. My B's heart valves also leak extra blood back into his heart. This isn't supposed to happen. I was told in 2007 that my son wouldn't ever be able to play sports, lift weights, ride roller coasters, and would more than likely have to have surgery whenever his heart was fully grown. Might seem minor, but it's not an arm or a leg. It's his heart and we all know this is THE MOST vital organ needed for survival.
I used to consume myself with my son's condition that can't ever get better. It can only stay the same or get worse. I don't do that anymore. God is in control and he knows what he is doing. I trust God 110% with my little B's heart. I've finally grasped the concept that this is the way things are and we will still have a life filled with happiness no matter what comes our way. Focusing on this imperfection and serious health matter did me NO good. Does it ever do anyone any good to focus on things out of our control? I think not. It IS hard to give these things to God, but I promise you that when you give him anything and everything you will have peace.
I'm so blessed and couldn't ask for anything more nor do I want for anything other than my sweet boys to have the best life ever! I'm going to have and am having a great life. No, it isn't what I planned. No, it's not perfect. No, it's not always amazing. It's simply the way I choose to view things and I choose to be positive, happy, encouraging, and do my best to be the best mom &friend (and all the other roles I play) that I can be. I want the same for you. Life is like a game of soccer. It doesn't matter whether you win or lose. What matters is that you have fun and are happy, enjoying it! Make it a great day and smile even when it's hard to smile. If I can, you can too.
I'm looking forward to hopefully getting some time to relax this weekend with my sweeties. Recently, my oldest son has started soccer AND baseball (he's seven). This means after work is done every Tuesday, Thursday, Saturday, & Friday this mommy loads up the car and runs to practice and games. My oldest loves sports and I think it's great for him in every aspect. Last night I was asked to coach a boys team (ages 4-6). At this age, they don't have referees so the coaches run the fields, make the calls, and encourage these sweet little ones. I had a blast! I've been a soccer mom for two years & I always thought coaching would be too much for me. I've decided to coach next season and I can NOT wait!! What's wrong with me! Someone needs to put a shock collar on me :) I'm tired! Don't get me wrong, I'm not sleepy, just tired of the "go, go, go" mode. However, I wouldn't trade those precious moments for anything in the world. I never dreamed I'd sign up for MORE responsibilities, but my little soccer star looked me in the eyes and said "Mom, I wish you were my coach." That's all it took. Done. Sealed. Stamped. That's it. I'm in!
I'm so glad he has the opportunity to play and isn't restricted from sports. Every year it is a possibility that he will be told he can't play sports. It's always based on a pediatric cardiologist's recommendation every year.
I knew whenever my seven year old was old enough to have a personality of his own that he had a special heart. I couldn't ask for a more compassionate and giving little boy. His heart is filled with a yearning to do good things for others. It warms my heart! When he was two, we were sent to see a pediatric cardiologist due to a "clicking" in his heart. After all the tests were done and the wait to finally see someone who specializes in the area, I was told that my son had BAV (Bicuspid Aortic Valve-- in his heart). This means that a healthy human has three valves that send blood to and from the heart. My B only has two. The two he has work harder than they should have to because they are working extra hard to make up for the loss of the third. My B's heart valves also leak extra blood back into his heart. This isn't supposed to happen. I was told in 2007 that my son wouldn't ever be able to play sports, lift weights, ride roller coasters, and would more than likely have to have surgery whenever his heart was fully grown. Might seem minor, but it's not an arm or a leg. It's his heart and we all know this is THE MOST vital organ needed for survival.
I used to consume myself with my son's condition that can't ever get better. It can only stay the same or get worse. I don't do that anymore. God is in control and he knows what he is doing. I trust God 110% with my little B's heart. I've finally grasped the concept that this is the way things are and we will still have a life filled with happiness no matter what comes our way. Focusing on this imperfection and serious health matter did me NO good. Does it ever do anyone any good to focus on things out of our control? I think not. It IS hard to give these things to God, but I promise you that when you give him anything and everything you will have peace.
I'm so blessed and couldn't ask for anything more nor do I want for anything other than my sweet boys to have the best life ever! I'm going to have and am having a great life. No, it isn't what I planned. No, it's not perfect. No, it's not always amazing. It's simply the way I choose to view things and I choose to be positive, happy, encouraging, and do my best to be the best mom &friend (and all the other roles I play) that I can be. I want the same for you. Life is like a game of soccer. It doesn't matter whether you win or lose. What matters is that you have fun and are happy, enjoying it! Make it a great day and smile even when it's hard to smile. If I can, you can too.
Tuesday, February 7, 2012
The biggest sun
Two years and two days ago my life changed forever. I didn't know at the time, but my life would continue to change throughout the course of the year.
I couldn't sleep one night (Feb 4th, 2011 to be exact) and stayed up reading. A neighbor called me. To say she was panicky would be a huge understatement! She screamed through sobs that my house was burning down. WOW! Ok. I told her to calm down and it was okay as the boys and I were staying with my parents.
In an instant, a more composed neighbor was on the phone telling me my grandparents house was on fire. I was imagining a kitchen fire. I can't recall what my neighbor said verbatim, but she let me know "It's bad, Robin. They are okay and the fire department is on the way. You need to get here!"
I grabbed the boys, woke my parents and we sped to see huge flames in the distance. I'm certain this is about the time I went into shock. This was no kitchen fire. Their whole house was being destroyed by tall red & orange flames. The smoke was so thick that people were coughing from quite a distance. My grandparents were safe at a neighbor's house wrapped in blankets shaking and crying.
I ran up the hill to see their house and get a better look at the fire. Caution tape surrounded the perimeter and then some. Adrenaline was in full force, so I ran through the caution tape and paid no attention to the authorities telling me it wasn't safe. A little caution tape wasn't going to stop me when I knew my grandparents were losing everything they owned.
Police officers and fire fighters were standing around talking as snow began to fall. I remember crying and calling out all I could say in a prayer, which was "Oh, God!"
The fire fighters quickly stopped spraying water and brought out chainsaws to cut the house apart. The sound was more than I could bare. I watched the home that I had spent so much of my life in go up in flames. Thirty years of memories, everything they owned, and so much more all gone. Black.
"Now the air I tasted and breathed has taken a turn. And now my bitter hands chafe beneath the clouds of what was everything. Oh the pictures had all been washed in black. Tattooed everything. " Eddie Vedder
The next week was spent shoveling through ashes and snow in what seemed to be the coldest days of any winter I had ever encountered. Something about the traumatic experience and smell of ashes put together made me shake every time I shoveled. To this day, I still shake if I ever smell that horrific smell. My grandparents moved into my house and the boys and I moved in with my parents.
Since then, my grandparents moved into a new house and the boys and I have our own home. I can't say that I was always okay with the fire and divorce documents that came the same week.
I am at peace now. You see, God had big plans then and he has big plans now. God saved my grandparent's lives that cold, winter night. They were moments away from death and lucky to be alive (this is exactly what the paramedics told me)!
Whenever you feel like you are drowning in life's situations, remember your maker walks on water. I think God allows awful things to happen so that our focus is always on him and so that we can truly learn to appreciate our blessings.
It took a long time for me to be content. I'm so proud to tell you that I want for nothing and am completely content! Sure, I would love and hope to see my boys grow up happy and healthy, but we don't need a new car, clothes, house, or other "things" to be happy. I've seen material things burn in a matter of hours. I've learned what's important in life can't be bought.
Dear friends, please embrace what's really important in life. Have a fabulous day and let your smile be the biggest sun in someone else's sky who is in the middle of the storm~
I couldn't sleep one night (Feb 4th, 2011 to be exact) and stayed up reading. A neighbor called me. To say she was panicky would be a huge understatement! She screamed through sobs that my house was burning down. WOW! Ok. I told her to calm down and it was okay as the boys and I were staying with my parents.
In an instant, a more composed neighbor was on the phone telling me my grandparents house was on fire. I was imagining a kitchen fire. I can't recall what my neighbor said verbatim, but she let me know "It's bad, Robin. They are okay and the fire department is on the way. You need to get here!"
I grabbed the boys, woke my parents and we sped to see huge flames in the distance. I'm certain this is about the time I went into shock. This was no kitchen fire. Their whole house was being destroyed by tall red & orange flames. The smoke was so thick that people were coughing from quite a distance. My grandparents were safe at a neighbor's house wrapped in blankets shaking and crying.
I ran up the hill to see their house and get a better look at the fire. Caution tape surrounded the perimeter and then some. Adrenaline was in full force, so I ran through the caution tape and paid no attention to the authorities telling me it wasn't safe. A little caution tape wasn't going to stop me when I knew my grandparents were losing everything they owned.
Police officers and fire fighters were standing around talking as snow began to fall. I remember crying and calling out all I could say in a prayer, which was "Oh, God!"
The fire fighters quickly stopped spraying water and brought out chainsaws to cut the house apart. The sound was more than I could bare. I watched the home that I had spent so much of my life in go up in flames. Thirty years of memories, everything they owned, and so much more all gone. Black.
"Now the air I tasted and breathed has taken a turn. And now my bitter hands chafe beneath the clouds of what was everything. Oh the pictures had all been washed in black. Tattooed everything. " Eddie Vedder
The next week was spent shoveling through ashes and snow in what seemed to be the coldest days of any winter I had ever encountered. Something about the traumatic experience and smell of ashes put together made me shake every time I shoveled. To this day, I still shake if I ever smell that horrific smell. My grandparents moved into my house and the boys and I moved in with my parents.
Since then, my grandparents moved into a new house and the boys and I have our own home. I can't say that I was always okay with the fire and divorce documents that came the same week.
I am at peace now. You see, God had big plans then and he has big plans now. God saved my grandparent's lives that cold, winter night. They were moments away from death and lucky to be alive (this is exactly what the paramedics told me)!
Whenever you feel like you are drowning in life's situations, remember your maker walks on water. I think God allows awful things to happen so that our focus is always on him and so that we can truly learn to appreciate our blessings.
It took a long time for me to be content. I'm so proud to tell you that I want for nothing and am completely content! Sure, I would love and hope to see my boys grow up happy and healthy, but we don't need a new car, clothes, house, or other "things" to be happy. I've seen material things burn in a matter of hours. I've learned what's important in life can't be bought.
Dear friends, please embrace what's really important in life. Have a fabulous day and let your smile be the biggest sun in someone else's sky who is in the middle of the storm~
Wednesday, February 1, 2012
A New Reality
I haven't had too much time to write lately, but I've promised myself to make time more time. I hope you all are having the best year ever!
Reality has struck my family and I pretty intensely in the past couple of weeks. I'd say it's about the same as sprinting into a brick wall, but I know God's in control and I never doubt his plans of greatness. "Nobody said it would be easy. They just promised it would be worth it."
Last week my loved one was diagnosed with another disease. Alzheimer's. I can't express how that specific word and all that comes with it is a tough one to register, let alone deal with first hand on a daily basis. It's not fair to keep it a secret from her anymore, so my family and I told her on her birthday. I dobut she remembers, but that may be best. I've never spoon fed medicine to anyone other than my sweet babies. I've never done a list of other things for someone who is helpless other than my children. Scratch that, two years ago I sat with a neighbor in the hospital until she passed because eveyrone needs someone and she had no family that cared enough to be with her.
I trusted God and listened to him when I resigned from my previous position with my former employer. You all know (well I hope you do) that I don't believe in coincidences. God knew long before I did that my new position would be to run a family business and be a caregiver. "I know God won't give me more than I can handle. I just wish he didn't trust me so much." ---Mother Teresa
Being a mommy is a caregiver position, but it's different if it's your own children or just children period. I've been a caregiver to children that weren't my own. It's so much different when roles are reversed and you find yourself being a caregiver and making decisions for a precious older adult who is dear to your heart & a family member.
I always thought that being a mommy was the hardest job in the world. It is tough. Don't get me wrong. But, I was wrong. My current "job" is so rewarding knowing I can take care of my sweet & precious loved one, but it's a challenge to say the least. I do my best, pray, and know God gives me the strength to do what I do. Without him, I wouldn't be able to do it. I can't tell you how it hurts my heart to see the things I've seen and to do the things I do because she can't do it herself nor can she remember to do basic things.
Things have been wonderful with my sweet boys! Yesterday, my oldest told me he loves me because I'm the best mommy in the world. I'll take that one to the bank! In my opinion, that's hands down the best compliment I could ever receive as a mommy!
I discovered "rodent droppings" under the sink and panicked!! I'm talking the boys and I stayed a couple of nights with family members type of panicked! I'm petrified of rodents, reptiles, and most all the other little critters my boys love. My grandfather set the mouse traps while we packed our bags =) We returned home two nights later when I knew that sweet, plump, "Mickey" was dead and removed from our home. I couldn't stand the thought of a mouse in our beds or running across the floor! Ahhhhh! Let's hope he doesn't have a family!
I'm BEYOND excited for the weekend! I'm prepared for birthday parties, church, and to to see the superbowl commercials and my childhood idol (Madonna) to deliver an exceptional halftime show.
Life IS great and I'm so blessed. I never take that for granted. I say I love you lots because I don't know when I won't be able to say it anymore. I take lots of photos even if they aren't gorgeous. Health can change in an instant. Well, anything can and I've become extremely aware of that.
I hope you all have a fabulous weekend, tell those you love how you feel, and enjoy the little things in life! I smile even when it's hard, because I am certain that one smile may brighten someone else's day. I say I'm sorry because I am and I don't argue (well, most of the time). I believe in love, happiness, peace, happy endings, and so much more! Happiness is a choice and I choose to be happy! I hope you all are too! It's contagious =) May God bless you and show you all you have to be blessed about.
Reality has struck my family and I pretty intensely in the past couple of weeks. I'd say it's about the same as sprinting into a brick wall, but I know God's in control and I never doubt his plans of greatness. "Nobody said it would be easy. They just promised it would be worth it."
Last week my loved one was diagnosed with another disease. Alzheimer's. I can't express how that specific word and all that comes with it is a tough one to register, let alone deal with first hand on a daily basis. It's not fair to keep it a secret from her anymore, so my family and I told her on her birthday. I dobut she remembers, but that may be best. I've never spoon fed medicine to anyone other than my sweet babies. I've never done a list of other things for someone who is helpless other than my children. Scratch that, two years ago I sat with a neighbor in the hospital until she passed because eveyrone needs someone and she had no family that cared enough to be with her.
I trusted God and listened to him when I resigned from my previous position with my former employer. You all know (well I hope you do) that I don't believe in coincidences. God knew long before I did that my new position would be to run a family business and be a caregiver. "I know God won't give me more than I can handle. I just wish he didn't trust me so much." ---Mother Teresa
Being a mommy is a caregiver position, but it's different if it's your own children or just children period. I've been a caregiver to children that weren't my own. It's so much different when roles are reversed and you find yourself being a caregiver and making decisions for a precious older adult who is dear to your heart & a family member.
I always thought that being a mommy was the hardest job in the world. It is tough. Don't get me wrong. But, I was wrong. My current "job" is so rewarding knowing I can take care of my sweet & precious loved one, but it's a challenge to say the least. I do my best, pray, and know God gives me the strength to do what I do. Without him, I wouldn't be able to do it. I can't tell you how it hurts my heart to see the things I've seen and to do the things I do because she can't do it herself nor can she remember to do basic things.
Things have been wonderful with my sweet boys! Yesterday, my oldest told me he loves me because I'm the best mommy in the world. I'll take that one to the bank! In my opinion, that's hands down the best compliment I could ever receive as a mommy!
I discovered "rodent droppings" under the sink and panicked!! I'm talking the boys and I stayed a couple of nights with family members type of panicked! I'm petrified of rodents, reptiles, and most all the other little critters my boys love. My grandfather set the mouse traps while we packed our bags =) We returned home two nights later when I knew that sweet, plump, "Mickey" was dead and removed from our home. I couldn't stand the thought of a mouse in our beds or running across the floor! Ahhhhh! Let's hope he doesn't have a family!
I'm BEYOND excited for the weekend! I'm prepared for birthday parties, church, and to to see the superbowl commercials and my childhood idol (Madonna) to deliver an exceptional halftime show.
Life IS great and I'm so blessed. I never take that for granted. I say I love you lots because I don't know when I won't be able to say it anymore. I take lots of photos even if they aren't gorgeous. Health can change in an instant. Well, anything can and I've become extremely aware of that.
I hope you all have a fabulous weekend, tell those you love how you feel, and enjoy the little things in life! I smile even when it's hard, because I am certain that one smile may brighten someone else's day. I say I'm sorry because I am and I don't argue (well, most of the time). I believe in love, happiness, peace, happy endings, and so much more! Happiness is a choice and I choose to be happy! I hope you all are too! It's contagious =) May God bless you and show you all you have to be blessed about.
Wednesday, January 11, 2012
God moves fast so be ready!
Thank God for another beautiful day of sunshine, family, life, and so much more! I hope you are all doing fantastic and that God is blessing you beyond belief!
Today I got exactly what I've asked God for. It's been nearly three years since I started searching for the answers, but on Sunday I gave him my family member who isn't well and two days later he answered my prayer! You must understand I didn't get the answer I wanted, BUT I asked him to take my family member in his hands and he gave me the answer in only three days. God moves fast, so be ready! He's hard at work in our lives, it's just all about how we see things.
For nearly three years I went to every doctor appointment with a loved one. Trust me, we went to EVERY doctor, specialist, nurse, and so on (you get the picture). I made sure all medical tests were run, and they all told me the same thing, which was "She is fine." She also told me she was fine. My heart told me otherwise, as did God. I just wanted an answers and quite frankly a diagnosis so we could get her the proper treatment she needed.
"Ask me and I will tell you things you don't know and can't find out." Jeremiah 33:3
Again, on Sunday I gave her to God and today (Tuesday) I got the answers and a new diagnosis. Not just any diagnosis, but one that makes some sense. I'm still trying to process all the information and I've forced myself to stop researching. I even went as far as to video the doctor talking to me and two other close family members to be quite certain I was hearing him correctly. I heard what he was saying, but it didn't register. I listened to the video of the doctor explaining the diagnosis three times and something finally registered in my brain.
Dementia (which was more than likely caused by Alzheimer's Disease). There is no cure.
"Pile you troubles on God's shoulders-- he'll carry your load , he'll help you out. He'll never let good people topple into ruin." Psalm 55:22
I've done enough research to know more than I knew before now & enough to stop researching. I also know that God has got this. I know he's in control. I know my family member with dementia will have peace.
It's been a long and trying week, but God IS HARD AT WORK! I hope you all are being the best you can be, loving, laughing, living, resting, and all the other great stuff that this wonderful life is made up of. God bless you all. Please know that there IS hope in each and every situation and if you open up your pretty eyes you will see God's work. Sleep tight sweet friends!
Today I got exactly what I've asked God for. It's been nearly three years since I started searching for the answers, but on Sunday I gave him my family member who isn't well and two days later he answered my prayer! You must understand I didn't get the answer I wanted, BUT I asked him to take my family member in his hands and he gave me the answer in only three days. God moves fast, so be ready! He's hard at work in our lives, it's just all about how we see things.
For nearly three years I went to every doctor appointment with a loved one. Trust me, we went to EVERY doctor, specialist, nurse, and so on (you get the picture). I made sure all medical tests were run, and they all told me the same thing, which was "She is fine." She also told me she was fine. My heart told me otherwise, as did God. I just wanted an answers and quite frankly a diagnosis so we could get her the proper treatment she needed.
"Ask me and I will tell you things you don't know and can't find out." Jeremiah 33:3
Again, on Sunday I gave her to God and today (Tuesday) I got the answers and a new diagnosis. Not just any diagnosis, but one that makes some sense. I'm still trying to process all the information and I've forced myself to stop researching. I even went as far as to video the doctor talking to me and two other close family members to be quite certain I was hearing him correctly. I heard what he was saying, but it didn't register. I listened to the video of the doctor explaining the diagnosis three times and something finally registered in my brain.
Dementia (which was more than likely caused by Alzheimer's Disease). There is no cure.
"Pile you troubles on God's shoulders-- he'll carry your load , he'll help you out. He'll never let good people topple into ruin." Psalm 55:22
I've done enough research to know more than I knew before now & enough to stop researching. I also know that God has got this. I know he's in control. I know my family member with dementia will have peace.
It's been a long and trying week, but God IS HARD AT WORK! I hope you all are being the best you can be, loving, laughing, living, resting, and all the other great stuff that this wonderful life is made up of. God bless you all. Please know that there IS hope in each and every situation and if you open up your pretty eyes you will see God's work. Sleep tight sweet friends!
Wednesday, December 28, 2011
Just Keep Swimming
I hope this finds you all still excited that you had the best Christmas ever! If you are anything like me, it's exhausting afterwards, but it's beyond worth it to see the glow in my sweetie's eyes, the anticipation, and the morning the cookies and milk are gone, stockings are filled, and Prancer ate the reindeer food!
Taking down Christmas decorations was much easier than putting them up! My house is Christmas free and I have to admit that I'm completely ready to see the great things God has in store for us in 2012! Bring on the New Year, new beginnings, and memories that last a lifetime! Yes, I'm excited!
"There is deceit in the hearts of those who plot evil, but joy for those who promote peace." Proverbs 12:20
I know that Christmas is usually rush, rush, rush. Buying all the perfect toys, food, visiting a bazillion places, etc. My little family was shuffled around quite a bit. Christmas Eve dinner was wonderful, but Santa got tired! After my sweeties and I sat out cookies and milk for Santa as well as reindeer food on the lawn, they were in bed by 9 p.m. which is past bedtime, but this mommy slacks off on schedules and rules when it's time to have fun! I made the biggest pot of coffee ever (added some espresso), bundled up in the cold and went to the storage building to bring in all of Santa's presents. I laid down at 2 a.m. after the two piles were arranged in such a way that it looked like Santa brought tons of presents! My seven year old was up at 5 a.m!
He climbed into my bed and informed me with such excitement that Santa had been here. I was unable to ask him to get back in his bed, I mean it's CHRISTMAS! I just mumbled in my happiest mommy voice "Honey, we have to wait until your brother wakes up. Go back to sleep with mommy and we will see what Santa has brought soon. I can't believe he's been here!"
We were up and at it at 6 a.m. opening toys and lots of screaming was going on. It was the best sight in the world. Our first Christmas with just the sweeties and I. I'll go ahead and admit I had to phone for help to assemble some of the toys. I apologize, but I know ZERO about a nerf gun with a "safety & a clip." Someone so sweet came to the rescue and all toys were assembled!
I dressed the boys differently than normal. I'm so proud to admit that! They had Christmas outfits, but I put on the baby's Christmas outfit (not the perfect one, but the one that is just okay with a little Christmas flair), and I dressed my oldest in regular clothes and a red shirt (this year I wasn't worried about having the perfect Christmas photos and I can't explain to you how much I love that change in me). Being a single mom for me has required letting go of lots of the things that used to matter so much to me. I'm realizing it doesn't matter and I'm letting it go. Thanks be to God! I've tried for seven years to be supermom, but I fail miserably. However, I'm the best mom I can be, and I'm content with that. My nature is that of a perfectionist, but it's impossible to do all of the things that perfection entails when you have two little sweet peas and I'm realizing it's not worth it. My time with them can't be replaced and I value every second.
I'm so excited to start 2012! God has brought some amazing people into my life and I'm so thankful for that. I don't deserve any of it, but I've asked God awhile ago to bring in those who really care about me during these times when I'm not as strong as I can be. He's done that! I truly believe he knows just what we need and sends that exactly when we need it. That's how it works for me. God never really speaks to me, but I am certain he speaks to me through others and I know he answers prayers and hears all of them.
2012 is going to be THE year of great things! I'm bound and determined (so watch out world!) to make it the BEST year ever! It symbolizes new beginnings for me and I can NOT wait!
I hope you all are rested from all of the Christmas and that you were able to enjoy your families, friends, spouses, kids, etc. Today I received a text from a dear friend asking how I was doing and I quoted a line from Dory in "Finding Nemo." I told her "Just keep swimming."
"You give me strength and guide me right. You make my feet run as fast as those of a deer and you help me stand on the mountains." Psalm 18:32-33
Even if you think everything is falling apart, you have stress at work, trouble at home with a spouse or child, you are lonely, depressed, heartbroken, or even if you are fantastic (which I hope you all are), Just keep swimming dear friends! I promise you it's worth it. If I can do it, a monkey could do it with his eyes blindfolded walking backwards. You are all so dear to me, and I wish the best for you all. Get excited about 2012! I am!
Taking down Christmas decorations was much easier than putting them up! My house is Christmas free and I have to admit that I'm completely ready to see the great things God has in store for us in 2012! Bring on the New Year, new beginnings, and memories that last a lifetime! Yes, I'm excited!
"There is deceit in the hearts of those who plot evil, but joy for those who promote peace." Proverbs 12:20
I know that Christmas is usually rush, rush, rush. Buying all the perfect toys, food, visiting a bazillion places, etc. My little family was shuffled around quite a bit. Christmas Eve dinner was wonderful, but Santa got tired! After my sweeties and I sat out cookies and milk for Santa as well as reindeer food on the lawn, they were in bed by 9 p.m. which is past bedtime, but this mommy slacks off on schedules and rules when it's time to have fun! I made the biggest pot of coffee ever (added some espresso), bundled up in the cold and went to the storage building to bring in all of Santa's presents. I laid down at 2 a.m. after the two piles were arranged in such a way that it looked like Santa brought tons of presents! My seven year old was up at 5 a.m!
He climbed into my bed and informed me with such excitement that Santa had been here. I was unable to ask him to get back in his bed, I mean it's CHRISTMAS! I just mumbled in my happiest mommy voice "Honey, we have to wait until your brother wakes up. Go back to sleep with mommy and we will see what Santa has brought soon. I can't believe he's been here!"
We were up and at it at 6 a.m. opening toys and lots of screaming was going on. It was the best sight in the world. Our first Christmas with just the sweeties and I. I'll go ahead and admit I had to phone for help to assemble some of the toys. I apologize, but I know ZERO about a nerf gun with a "safety & a clip." Someone so sweet came to the rescue and all toys were assembled!
I dressed the boys differently than normal. I'm so proud to admit that! They had Christmas outfits, but I put on the baby's Christmas outfit (not the perfect one, but the one that is just okay with a little Christmas flair), and I dressed my oldest in regular clothes and a red shirt (this year I wasn't worried about having the perfect Christmas photos and I can't explain to you how much I love that change in me). Being a single mom for me has required letting go of lots of the things that used to matter so much to me. I'm realizing it doesn't matter and I'm letting it go. Thanks be to God! I've tried for seven years to be supermom, but I fail miserably. However, I'm the best mom I can be, and I'm content with that. My nature is that of a perfectionist, but it's impossible to do all of the things that perfection entails when you have two little sweet peas and I'm realizing it's not worth it. My time with them can't be replaced and I value every second.
I'm so excited to start 2012! God has brought some amazing people into my life and I'm so thankful for that. I don't deserve any of it, but I've asked God awhile ago to bring in those who really care about me during these times when I'm not as strong as I can be. He's done that! I truly believe he knows just what we need and sends that exactly when we need it. That's how it works for me. God never really speaks to me, but I am certain he speaks to me through others and I know he answers prayers and hears all of them.
2012 is going to be THE year of great things! I'm bound and determined (so watch out world!) to make it the BEST year ever! It symbolizes new beginnings for me and I can NOT wait!
I hope you all are rested from all of the Christmas and that you were able to enjoy your families, friends, spouses, kids, etc. Today I received a text from a dear friend asking how I was doing and I quoted a line from Dory in "Finding Nemo." I told her "Just keep swimming."
"You give me strength and guide me right. You make my feet run as fast as those of a deer and you help me stand on the mountains." Psalm 18:32-33
Even if you think everything is falling apart, you have stress at work, trouble at home with a spouse or child, you are lonely, depressed, heartbroken, or even if you are fantastic (which I hope you all are), Just keep swimming dear friends! I promise you it's worth it. If I can do it, a monkey could do it with his eyes blindfolded walking backwards. You are all so dear to me, and I wish the best for you all. Get excited about 2012! I am!
Wednesday, December 21, 2011
A reason, not just a season
Good evening sweet friends and readers. I hope this finds you all more excited than ever for Christmas Vacation, spending time with those you love the most, and mainly thankful for all the wonderful blessings in your life. I'm blessed and I never lose sight of that.
Yesterday I had to visit my family physician for a check up. He looked at me and asked me "Do you eat, Robin?" OUCH. I replied in my best, most happiest voice, "Yes, I eat, Why do you ask?" He said I look unhealthy and am underweight. He also informed me it's not normal to feel a valley when laying down between my hip bone and my ribs. I'm trying and that's what I told him. He knows about the divorce, my sick relative, career change, baby leaving throughout Christmas break, etc. He gave me his best sermon and I give him a four out of five stars! Yes, I'm being sarcastic, but you have to understand that when things are a wreck the last thing on my mind is eating. I'm definitely NOT an emotional eater. Food does not bring me comfort, and throughout the course of the past year I've gone from a size six to a zero or a two with a belt. I am trying, and that's all I can do. He also informed me that I'd have to be careful because he says I'm beautiful and that men are going to flock to me. That was nice of him to say especially after the unhealthy weight sermon. My blood pressure was unusally higher than normal (by the way I take blood pressure meds and have for the past year and I'm only THIRTY). He doubled the dose because this mommy isn't willing to have a stroke, heart attack, or even have the slightest damage to my heart. I can NOT imagine why my blood is almost boiling! Either way, I take the maintenance pill at night and I'll be just fine as always! Bless his heart and thank God there are still doctors out there who care about my well being. I'm honestly thankful to have a wonderful doctor.
Last night my seventeen month old sweetie got sick on me. I consoled him, prepared to clean up the vomit, and he was fine playing and laughing. I, on the other hand had a weak moment and had to hold the porcelain king for a few minutes while he thought it would be the prime time to mimic me gagging and getting sick. I have no idea what happened to my stomach! I worked in oral surgery for years, but perio disease, decay, and vomit all smell a little different and last night it wasn't meant for me to hold down my special k bar. But hey, I wasn't prepared to give my "mother of the year" speech anyway (please note my intended sarcasm). We are all fine, but I thought you might need a little laugh!
Today was one of the toughest. I've prepared myself as much as possible to be away from my sweet baby for a week. SEVEN days! That's the longest I've ever been without him, but I'm sure I can do it with God by my side. I know it's going to be tough, but the great news is I have THE MOST amazing friends & family anyone could ever ask for. I'm so grateful and blessed and I don't deserve it.
Today was my last day in my current position and saying goodbye is never easy. However, I'm so thankful that I have such amazing people in my life that make saying goodbye so hard. I didn't say goodbye. I said "I'll see you all soon," and I will. I will train the next person to do my previous job. In the meantime, I'm going to take a break to the best of my ability and take a couple of weeks to take care of my sweet babies and myself. Next week was supposed to entail a big and nasty court date called "mediation." I was prepared as I could be, only to find out that my former husband cancelled at the last minute. I'm beyond ready for this crazy ride to be over.
After I finished packing my family photos, children's art work, and all my other cute stuff from my desk, I turned in my keys and bolted to the family doctor appointment concerning my closest relative. The doctor basically told us that my relative could die at any given moment in their sleep due to carbon monoxide poisoning. The rate of carbon monoxide in their blood was 22x that of a normal person and extremely lethal. The doctor told us that he called us in because he wanted us to know before he got a call that my relative was found dead in their sleep. I can't begin to tell you what a hard pill that was to swallow. I had to put on my bravest face & be a shoulder for her to cry on. I cried my eyes out later. The great news is, if she quits smoking, her carbon monoxide rate will go down rapidly. She has quit smoking and those in my family who were smokers have quit with her. It's so hard to hear her saying she wished she were in heaven (and she means it) where she wouldn't have any worries, anxiety, or stress. She knows she wouldn't feel pain there, but again I'm selfish and not afraid to admit it.
The amazing news is that God is still in the miracle business and she doesn't have cancer, but she's seriously ill. I'm so thankful to be able to spend this Christmas right beside her. I'm glad I can be there for her to listen to her fears, worries, and other problems. I can't imagine what she's going through, but it hurts my heart something awful to sit back and watch it happen. I literally spend every free moment I have with her. I want to memorize her face, take unlimited photos, tell her how much I love her every chance I get, and memorize her voice.
I know God has HUGE plans for us all, and I have an undying faith. I know that things are going to be okay and good will come from all situations one day. I have an interview tomorrow, my best friend in the world is flying in from down south to spend Christmas here and will be moving at the end of January. You see, God knows exactly what we need and I believe he gives it to us when we need it. I try my best not to ask for anything and to tell him how thankful I am for what I have.
Recently, he's sent people in my life for a reason and not just a season. I know those special people came from God because I'm extremely honest with him and I've told him that if he wants me to go to these doctor appointments and court dates he's going to have to do it through me and send me those who care about me most or new people in my life to help me through this crazy ride called life. He has done that and I can't thank him enough. Thank you for all of those special people in my life that never give up on me. You all know exactly who you are, and you have no idea how much I love each and every one of you! I know God has sent you for a reason and not just a season. I couldn't do it without you all and I promise I can lend my heart, help, ears, and anything you all may need at anytime. Thank you all for bearing with me, believing in me when I didn't believe in myself, and for remaining constant. Words can't express and I love you doesn't cut it, but I hope you get the picture.
Tomorrow is a new day and I'm excited to start over! Christmas shopping with an amazing person and a new job interview is quite exciting. Did I mention my oldest son's Christmas break begins tomorrow and my youngest son's last day of school is tomorrow? I'm elated! My seven year old came home today on top of the world to have the privilege of being trusted to take care of the princess, the class guinea pig for Christmas vacation. I can't say I'm so excited, but the boys LOVE LOVE LOVE princess and I'm just a little terrified about the sweetest rodent. However, they are in love with the rodent, so I will try to overcome my fear of miss princess biting my sweet babies or myself.
I want you all to know that I adore each and every one of you! I hope you all are reading this for a reason and not just a season. I promise you all that life is great! It may have it's ups and downs, but if it didnt' then we wouldn't be as strong as we are would we? I'm going to enjoy my little family this Christmas and make it the best one ever! I pray that you all do the same and that God will ease any heartache you may have, struggles you may be going through, and enhance the joy of Christmas in your hearts and actions. Please hug and kiss all of those who are dear to your heart and tell them how much you care. I did today. I will tomorrow, and I will continue as long as I'm alive. God bless you all and have a MERRY CHRISTMAS!
Yesterday I had to visit my family physician for a check up. He looked at me and asked me "Do you eat, Robin?" OUCH. I replied in my best, most happiest voice, "Yes, I eat, Why do you ask?" He said I look unhealthy and am underweight. He also informed me it's not normal to feel a valley when laying down between my hip bone and my ribs. I'm trying and that's what I told him. He knows about the divorce, my sick relative, career change, baby leaving throughout Christmas break, etc. He gave me his best sermon and I give him a four out of five stars! Yes, I'm being sarcastic, but you have to understand that when things are a wreck the last thing on my mind is eating. I'm definitely NOT an emotional eater. Food does not bring me comfort, and throughout the course of the past year I've gone from a size six to a zero or a two with a belt. I am trying, and that's all I can do. He also informed me that I'd have to be careful because he says I'm beautiful and that men are going to flock to me. That was nice of him to say especially after the unhealthy weight sermon. My blood pressure was unusally higher than normal (by the way I take blood pressure meds and have for the past year and I'm only THIRTY). He doubled the dose because this mommy isn't willing to have a stroke, heart attack, or even have the slightest damage to my heart. I can NOT imagine why my blood is almost boiling! Either way, I take the maintenance pill at night and I'll be just fine as always! Bless his heart and thank God there are still doctors out there who care about my well being. I'm honestly thankful to have a wonderful doctor.
Last night my seventeen month old sweetie got sick on me. I consoled him, prepared to clean up the vomit, and he was fine playing and laughing. I, on the other hand had a weak moment and had to hold the porcelain king for a few minutes while he thought it would be the prime time to mimic me gagging and getting sick. I have no idea what happened to my stomach! I worked in oral surgery for years, but perio disease, decay, and vomit all smell a little different and last night it wasn't meant for me to hold down my special k bar. But hey, I wasn't prepared to give my "mother of the year" speech anyway (please note my intended sarcasm). We are all fine, but I thought you might need a little laugh!
Today was one of the toughest. I've prepared myself as much as possible to be away from my sweet baby for a week. SEVEN days! That's the longest I've ever been without him, but I'm sure I can do it with God by my side. I know it's going to be tough, but the great news is I have THE MOST amazing friends & family anyone could ever ask for. I'm so grateful and blessed and I don't deserve it.
Today was my last day in my current position and saying goodbye is never easy. However, I'm so thankful that I have such amazing people in my life that make saying goodbye so hard. I didn't say goodbye. I said "I'll see you all soon," and I will. I will train the next person to do my previous job. In the meantime, I'm going to take a break to the best of my ability and take a couple of weeks to take care of my sweet babies and myself. Next week was supposed to entail a big and nasty court date called "mediation." I was prepared as I could be, only to find out that my former husband cancelled at the last minute. I'm beyond ready for this crazy ride to be over.
After I finished packing my family photos, children's art work, and all my other cute stuff from my desk, I turned in my keys and bolted to the family doctor appointment concerning my closest relative. The doctor basically told us that my relative could die at any given moment in their sleep due to carbon monoxide poisoning. The rate of carbon monoxide in their blood was 22x that of a normal person and extremely lethal. The doctor told us that he called us in because he wanted us to know before he got a call that my relative was found dead in their sleep. I can't begin to tell you what a hard pill that was to swallow. I had to put on my bravest face & be a shoulder for her to cry on. I cried my eyes out later. The great news is, if she quits smoking, her carbon monoxide rate will go down rapidly. She has quit smoking and those in my family who were smokers have quit with her. It's so hard to hear her saying she wished she were in heaven (and she means it) where she wouldn't have any worries, anxiety, or stress. She knows she wouldn't feel pain there, but again I'm selfish and not afraid to admit it.
The amazing news is that God is still in the miracle business and she doesn't have cancer, but she's seriously ill. I'm so thankful to be able to spend this Christmas right beside her. I'm glad I can be there for her to listen to her fears, worries, and other problems. I can't imagine what she's going through, but it hurts my heart something awful to sit back and watch it happen. I literally spend every free moment I have with her. I want to memorize her face, take unlimited photos, tell her how much I love her every chance I get, and memorize her voice.
I know God has HUGE plans for us all, and I have an undying faith. I know that things are going to be okay and good will come from all situations one day. I have an interview tomorrow, my best friend in the world is flying in from down south to spend Christmas here and will be moving at the end of January. You see, God knows exactly what we need and I believe he gives it to us when we need it. I try my best not to ask for anything and to tell him how thankful I am for what I have.
Recently, he's sent people in my life for a reason and not just a season. I know those special people came from God because I'm extremely honest with him and I've told him that if he wants me to go to these doctor appointments and court dates he's going to have to do it through me and send me those who care about me most or new people in my life to help me through this crazy ride called life. He has done that and I can't thank him enough. Thank you for all of those special people in my life that never give up on me. You all know exactly who you are, and you have no idea how much I love each and every one of you! I know God has sent you for a reason and not just a season. I couldn't do it without you all and I promise I can lend my heart, help, ears, and anything you all may need at anytime. Thank you all for bearing with me, believing in me when I didn't believe in myself, and for remaining constant. Words can't express and I love you doesn't cut it, but I hope you get the picture.
Tomorrow is a new day and I'm excited to start over! Christmas shopping with an amazing person and a new job interview is quite exciting. Did I mention my oldest son's Christmas break begins tomorrow and my youngest son's last day of school is tomorrow? I'm elated! My seven year old came home today on top of the world to have the privilege of being trusted to take care of the princess, the class guinea pig for Christmas vacation. I can't say I'm so excited, but the boys LOVE LOVE LOVE princess and I'm just a little terrified about the sweetest rodent. However, they are in love with the rodent, so I will try to overcome my fear of miss princess biting my sweet babies or myself.
I want you all to know that I adore each and every one of you! I hope you all are reading this for a reason and not just a season. I promise you all that life is great! It may have it's ups and downs, but if it didnt' then we wouldn't be as strong as we are would we? I'm going to enjoy my little family this Christmas and make it the best one ever! I pray that you all do the same and that God will ease any heartache you may have, struggles you may be going through, and enhance the joy of Christmas in your hearts and actions. Please hug and kiss all of those who are dear to your heart and tell them how much you care. I did today. I will tomorrow, and I will continue as long as I'm alive. God bless you all and have a MERRY CHRISTMAS!
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