Saturday, May 26, 2012

Miracle Business

Happy LONG weekend sweet friends!  I hope you are all soaking up the Memorial Day weekend sun and enjoying time with your precious loved ones. 

Normally, I don't re-read my blogs after I've posted them (if you see grammatical errors, I apologize in advance.  It IS my pet peeve, but I usually don't have that much time on my hands).  Today, I decided to scan the last title which is "Worst Case Scenario."  I also remember the meaning of the blog was to think positive in ANY given situation.

The past seven days have been some of the toughest days of my life thus far.  A friend of mine and the families had a horrible car accident exactly a week ago today. The hospitals around here couldn't handle the trauma & he was air-lifted immediately to a wonderful trauma center in another state. On Sunday, we were told there was little brain activity, major head trauma with swelling of the brain, a skull fracture, & he was in a coma.  No one (including myself--I'm guilty) seemed to have much hope.  The medical professionals all said to prepare for the worst because he had greater chances of death than survival. I prayed to God for a miracle and I knew if he was going to make it, he would need a miracle that only God could perform due to his rapidly decreasing health status. I try to practice what I write, but this case was extremely difficult (that would be a HUGE understatement). 

The world never stopped spinning, & I had to carry on with work and my sweet boys.  I don't cry in front of my sweeties, but I think most of those who know me best have seen me fall apart lately.  I felt like a terrible mother because my children were shuffled from their aunt, dad, basketball camp, and daycare.  Thank goodness I have an amazing sister who is always stepping right up to the plate to help out.  She doesn't ever question things.  She just does what is needed.  I couldn't have even visited the Intensive Care Unit out of state without her and my brother-in-law.  Bless their hearts (my family and my sweet boys).  Thank you wasn't enough.  I don't think I could have made it had I not visited the hospital. 

Yesterday marked the sixth day.  Those six days were packed full of prayers and I'm thankful for each and everyone who prayed and those who continue to pray!  Keep it up!  God hears our prayers and knows our hearts.  I'm guessing during the beginning, I went into shock and remained in what I refer to as "robot mode," or "survival mode."  Both terms mean focusing ONLY on the obvious (taking care of the boys, eating, sleeping, etc.), you know the basics.  I've searched my Bible and read and studied harder this past week than ever before. 

"For we walk by faith and not by sight."  2 Corinthians 5:7

Days were spent on the phone with pastors, preachers, family, & friends.  I called California and people that far west didn't question anything, they just prayed and will continue.  I'll be the first to tell you all that I wasn't bursting with hope.  I had an ounce of hope, but I wasn't hearing from God like I thought I would be (remember I told you all that God works in my life on his own terms and not mine?).  Shock was replaced by reality and sadness and anger immediately followed. 

Yesterday, I received the daily news update in the morning. Brain swelling was up and down and he was FINALLY taking food via a feeding tube. I knew the first seventy-two hours were the most critical, but after they passed the doctors told us he would need to make it seven to ten days before they would know anymore.  Remember how I prayed and asked others to pray for a miracle?  I specifically asked that no one question the reason for the prayers for miracles, because I think everyone automatically went into survival mode.  Details didn't matter.  Prayers specifically for a miracle were the only thing that were relevant besides his state of well being.  Faith, hope, and tons of prayers were the only light God showed me.

"When people work, their wages are not a gift.  Workers earn what they receive, but people are declared righteous because of their faith, not because of their work."  Romans 4:4-5

THE NEWS WAS GREAT!  He's awake!!!  It's been seven days today and he woke up from the coma on the sixth day!  This means that maybe God wanted to wait until the last minute, but also not be too hesitant (the doctors said after the first seventy-two hours that the first seven to ten days would be the most crucial).  Thank you, God!  He is breathing on his OWN, his heart is back into it's own rhythm, he is responsive, talking some, and AWAKE!!!!

"I wait for the Lord, my soul waits, and in his word I put my hope."  Psalm 130:5

God is so good!  Does he still need prayers?  YES!  Is everything going to be okay?  I can't answer that.  However, God DOES answer prayers! I've known this & shouldn't be amazed that God answered our prayers.  I know that some of you know me and some of you don't, but I'm asking you now to pray for this young man.  God knows. 

The good and positive things in this situation?  That one was tough.  The BEST part is being reminded that my God is still in the miracle business.  He was the ONLY person who could've saved my sweet friend's precious life and he did!  I do believe this young man will be given a second  chance at life!!  How amazing is that?! 

I'm begging you all to tell those you love and care for exactly how you feel.  We all know we aren't guaranteed another day or breath.  However, some of us seem to forget this.  I promise you that you won't regret letting those you hold dear to your heart exactly how you feel about them.  I haven't had the chance to tell my dear friend exactly how I feel about him, but I'm next to certain that God is going to give me that chance.  Remember, God is STILL in the miracle business!   Have a blessed weekend, dear friends and thank God for the people he has brought into your life!

Friday, May 18, 2012

Worst Case Scenario

It's another beautiful day here in the Midwest!  Aren't they all if we are given the chance to open our eyes in the morning?  I hope you all are having a wonderful week (and of course anticipating the weekend)! 

Yesterday as we patiently awaited the arrival of the surgeon in his office, my oldest son (he's seven) and I discussed a positive "worst case scenario" involving the broken radius he obtained nearly four weeks ago.  I constantly try to see and verbalize the positive and good things in all situations.  I knew my son wanted his second splint off!  However, I know that it's probably not likely that they remove a cast only two weeks post surgery. 

I decided to use my best, pumped-up, energetic, mom attitude to approach the POSITIVE in the situation.  You see, my son and others wanted to say things like "Oh, well you can't play baseball anymore & you definitely will have to have a restful summer."  While I prepared him for the worst, (which would be six more weeks in a hard cast, no baseball, no soccer, no water) I succeeded!  My goal was to get him excited about going into a hard cast and dealing with the frustration of learning to do things with your non-dominant arm.  I did it! 

I could NOT believe that after all of the negativity he would be excited!  I'm not a pessimist, but I feel that if I prepare (as much as one can prepare if that is possible) for the absolute "worst case scenario," then when you receive ANY news that things are BETTER than you anticipated you find yourself elated! 

While we didn't talk much or focus on what he can't do & being in a cast for another four to six weeks, we DID talk non-stop about the new and exciting things that we couldn't do before, a cool new cast color, and focusing on the fun things he CAN do!  The smile and high fives that took over the atmosphere of the room seemed to drown out a relatives woes and negativity.  SUCCESS!  I mean, who wouldn't be excited to wear a shorter cast, pick a cool color, and be able to play two more final games of soccer?  :)  Yes, the list of don'ts and cant's outweigh the dos and cans.  The point is, my son never thought of this.  Why?  Because, I'm trying to teach him to see the positive things and good in each situation in life. 

"You keep me going when times are tough- my bedrock, God, since my childhood."  Psalm 71:5

How often do you hear "I'm having a bad day!" at 8 a.m. or negative comments due to a situation that CAN be made better by a simple change of perspective?  In my case, I have found that some people choose to be negative no matter what.  I know that no matter what I ask them about their week, day, hour, etc.  there is going to be nothing but complaints in response.  Who wants to be around those people?  Not me!  Have we all been that person at some point?  Absolutely! 

I think the life has enough tragedies, pain, heartaches, and troubles.  I strive to be a ray of light to those who only see darkness.  I want to be someone that people actually enjoy being around.  Laughter is contagious as is the "debbie downer syndrome."  Which do you want to reflect yourself?  Which do you prefer rub off on your loved ones, family, & friends?  Smile even when you think you can't.  Laugh and find the good in ALL situations.  Try that for even ONE DAY and see how much further that will get you.  If you are an evidence or factual person, pick up a copy of Dale Carnegie's "How to win friends and influence people."  I haven't read the book in years, but I'm next to certain Mr. Carnegie would tell you something along the same lines.

"You need not be afraid of disaster or destruction that comes upon the wicked, for the Lord is your security.  He will keep your foot from being caught in a trap."  Proverbs 3:25-26

MAKE each day a great day!  If you see that you are going to allow spilled coffee, poor attitudes, or others to make your entire day (or even an hour of your precious time) doomed to gloom, recognize it and turn it around.  YOU have the power to do that!  Make it a great weekend, sweet friends and may you all see God's blessings and goodness around you~

Tuesday, May 15, 2012

Happy Belated Mother's Day

I hope you all had the best Mother's Day in the history of Mother's Days!  I am thankful and blessed to have been able to spend the day with three of the strongest and most admirable women I know (my mother, grandmother, and step-grandmother). 

I'm sure it was a tough day for some of you who have lost your mothers, grandmothers, or great grandmothers.  My heart goes out to you all and I understand the pain you may feel.  I couldn't help but remember my grandmother and great grandmother on Mother's Day.  I think of them often, but on this day they were both weighing heavy on my heart (even though they have both been hanging out with God in heaven since I was around the age of nine).

 I suppose the thoughts and feelings I had and still have for my loved ones that have passed are normal.  I wish they could see their grandsons and I hope that they are pleased with my parenting.  I know this may be selfish, but I can't help but think that I wish they could see my sweet boys and I now.  However, I know that heaven is a much better place and they probably wouldn't return to this Earth if they could!  Knowing they were both Christian women gives me hope and comfort.  I hope God has chosen them both to be our guardian angels, because I know they would be perfect candidates for the job (even if it is an extremely busy one!). 

My sweeties and I spent Mother's Day moving from house to house after church.  I'm NOT complaining.  I'm extremely thankful!  As you all know, holidays are quite different for the boys and I. Before I became a single mom, I'm certain I took many holidays for granted.  I had no idea then that one day I'd have to send my youngest to his daddy's house for half of the holidays.  Sadly, it wasn't until our holidays changed forever that I learned to cherish and value every second of them (crazy busy or not!).

I spent the night before Mother's Day wide awake in bed.  I can function on three to four hours of sleep for a day or two, but my body and mind can run on a few hours of sleep for more than a couple consecutive nights.  My precious boys have a bedtime for a reason & I'm thinking that this mommy needs a bedtime for a reason also! 

We successfully made it to church, sat through church, visited three mothers, & skipped nap time!  It was a wonderful day.  I received my FAVORITE kind of gifts and cards, which are the thoughtful, heartfelt, & homemade kind.  It's nice to be presented with a "Mother of the year award, A letter to the Editor explaining that I should win the award for many reasons."  Do I want to be "Mother of the Year?"  Absolutely not!  That's an impossible role for me to fill, but when my seven year old showed me the letter he had written to an editor explaining why I should win this award, my heart was overflowing.  My seven year old thinks I'm pretty, not mean, and an awesome mom!  That means more to me than anything money can buy!  I hope this means I'm doing my job as a mom correctly & I prefer to be a mom that is raising sweet boys that God is pleased with as well. 

"Dear Friends, if we feel at ease in the presence of God, we will have the courage to come near him.  He will give us whatever we ask, because we obey him and do what pleases him."  1 John 3:21-22

In my opinion, the MOST important thing is being a Godly mother.  Being a great mother is important too, but I know that I will be held accountable for the way I raise my boys and I'm working hard to ensure they are men of God. 

It is pretty basic to me, but if you think about it long enough it will tug at your heart strings.  Are we all setting the examples not only for our children see, but for everyone we come in contact with?  Are we an inspiration or the kind of person that no one aspires to be?  I KNOW I'm not perfect, but I've finally reached a place in my life where I'm certain that God is smiling (MOST of the time) at the mom I am and the example I try to set. 

I hope you all find yourself answering those questions knowing that you all are the example you want to set for your children and other people.  I know that we all may be the only Jesus some people will ever see.  Don't get me wrong, I'm not saying that we should pack everyday with a list of "good deeds" to do.  I think we should simply go by the golden rule. 

I have so much more to learn and plenty of room for improvement as a mommy, but I'm content knowing that I've come so far and I'm so much better than I used to be.  Guess what?  We will all continue to grow and better ourselves if we only try.  I know God doesn't expect super heroes out of any of us, which is a good thing because I'm FAR from that. 

"For if a man is in Christ he becomes a new person altogether--the past is finished and gone, everything has become fresh and new."  2 Corinthians 5:17

I hope you all are having a wonderful week filled with laughter, rest, and happiness.  May God Bless you all and Happy belated Mother's Day from this mommy to you!  I admire, respect, and appreciate all you all do (even if you don't have children).  Being a mommy is THE BEST job title I've ever been given, but it's also the hardest (and usually in most cases moms do so many things that go without a simple "thank you" or any kind of acknowledgement).  I acknowledge you all and wish I could high five you all for being (and working on being better) wonderful mommies and readers.  Have a wonderful week!

Thursday, May 10, 2012

Attitude Is Everything

Good morning!  It's officially Friday eve!!  Yes, I'm ready for the weekend :)   I hope you all are doing wonderful and are all filled with happiness.  Life is short and I think it's important to be happy & have a positive attitude. 

I have to admit, sometimes I'm not always chipper.  I've learned that whenever life throws a curve ball my way to try to deal with it and instantly go right back to being happy, chipper, and smiling!

This morning I wasn't so chipper.  I've told you all before that we have "visitation" with my oldest son's cat, Sammy.  It's funny.  Have I told you I'm not a cat person?  Last night, my seven year old had one hour to make a visual model of his invention for school.  He chose to make a cat car (which means mommy has to make an invention).  The invention had to be something that could help you do a task.  I asked him what task a cat car could help him do.  He told me it was designed to hit the snooze button on his alarm for him and to drive himself to the door where he could go outside to the liter box! 

I have finished the cat car!  Sammy the cat stays at our house on school nights and goes back to grandmother's house every morning.  The idea behind the "cat visitation" was to get my oldest son unafraid to sleep alone. 

This morning I jumped out of bed when I realized that NOT ONE of my THREE alarms had gone off (yes, my son gets the "snooze button syndrome" from his mommy!)!   I jumped up with Sammy on me and my oldest had snuck into my bed(Sammy also ATE the third power balance bracelet!)  I ran around like a mad woman to get everyone out the door and to school and daycare on time.  We made it!  Well, almost.  How could I forget the cat car invention at home along with my oldest son's sling for his broken arm?!?   

Rush, rush, rush.  My seven year old said "Moooooom!  I feel like you are rushing me and I don't like to be rushed!"  Guess what?  I don't like to rush either.  After I took the two vital items back to school, I realized that instead of letting a hectic morning ruin my day, I'd take a different approach.  I still have plenty of time to be where I need to be and make it on time.  There is no reason a crazy hour and half should define the rest of my day.  It won't.  I apologized to my sweet boys and told them I was sorry for rushing them to be out the door on time. 

My seven year old cat lover is learning this lesson.  I tell him usually once a day "B, you need to change your attitude."  No one wants to hear complaining and griping.  He hangs out with an avid complainer, but that doesn't mean my B should act like someone else.  I put him on my bed and give him a few minutes to think about POSITIVE things and then when he has decided that life isn't so bad, the world isn't going to stop spinning, I let him get up.  Funny how that works!  He always gets up and the complaining ends and he is happy again. 

"Surely God does not reject a blameless man or strengthen the hands of evildoers.  He will fill yet your mouth with laughter and your lips with shouts of joy."  Job 8:20-21

If I'm trying to teach this lesson to my child, then I can NOT act that way.  Think about it.  Who wants to call a business and hear a rude voice on the other end?  No one wants to hear griping and complaining either.  I promise you that everyone has walked through a rough path at some point in life.  I admire those who smile when I know they are hurting.  That takes a strong person to do so. 

I've had plenty of times where I had a TERRIBLE attitude.  Sometimes it takes more than an hour for me to change my mindset.  The great news is I am aware of my thinking and actions and when I notice I'm not happy, I change my mood quickly!  We are responsible for our OWN actions and thoughts.  It's NOT someone elses fault that I overslept.  No one can MAKE you feel any way.  We chose our own emotions.  I know, I know..  But, you don't know what so and so did!  It doesn't matter who has hurt you.  What matters is how YOU and I react. 

"If our minds are ruled by our desires, we will die.  But if our minds are ruled by the Spirit, we will have life and peace."  Romans 8:6

If you are a parent, friend, or work outside the home then guess what?  Your actions affect those around you!  Try being happy and nice if things are bad.  See what happens!  Laughter is contagious and so is your attitude.  Attitude is everything.  I believe it reflects our hearts and I want the world to see a happy heart out of me.  Which do you want? 

Try being nice today to a stranger, friend, or loved one (a simple random act of kindness, smile, kind words, etc) and see how much further that will get you as opposed to the alternative.  Whomever said it takes more muscles to smile than frown knew EXACTLY what they were talking about.  You never know what someone else is going through, so be nice and make someones day!

"Our Lord is great and powerful!  He understands everything.  The Lord helps the poor, but smears the wicked in the dirt."  Psalm 147:5-6

Make it a great day (and if you are having trouble SURELY knowing it's Friday Eve will cheer you up!) and I pray that you all see God's blessings!

Wednesday, May 9, 2012

The Ultimate Protector

I hope you all are having a wonderful week!  I'm so thankful and blessed beyond words for the wonderful life God has given me.  Today has been a busy one and I hoping I'll find my "second wind" soon. 

I've been thinking a ton lately about all of my roles as a single mommy.  Being a single mommy doesn't define who I am, but it is a HUGE part of my life and actions.  It has been a wonderful and rewarding ride, and it's also been an adjustment to say the least.  It seems to be that as soon as I think "I've got this single parent stuff," I learn another lesson in life.  I'm grateful that God trusts me so much to give me all these different hats to wear and that he trusts someone like ME to be able to be mommy. 

Last night my youngest son decided to test my skills with a late night trip to the emergency room.  You'd think that after all the times we have been that those trips with sick sweeties would get easier for me.  It hasn't yet and I can't even count all the times we have been!  I'm not a rush to the doctor or hospital kind of person either. 

My youngest (22 months) had a fever that wouldn't be reduced from medication, a warm bath, and as much liquid as I could force him to drink.  When I saw the thermometer read 104.5, I think I went into something I like to think of as survival mode blended with tons of adrenaline!  Thank goodness dad came or I'm not sure I'd have made it as the doctor proceeded to tell me there wasn't ever a reason to bring anyone with a fever unless it's 108! 

I didn't panic, but I'm sure if I was watching the clock I would have seen that I may have set a record time for getting to the emergency room.  A wonderful official turned on his blue lights, and I turned on my flashers (I didn't get a ticket, nor did I get stopped thank goodness).  I knew that I was close and nobody was going to come between my sick baby and getting him better as quickly as I could.

I began to realize today (after ten days, two boys, two emergency room visits, 2 splints,  & one surgery)
that it is my job to make sure my sweet boys are protected.  That's a HUGE responsibility when you have BOYS who act like boys!

Sometimes I forget that God is their ultimate protector and healer.  That lifts a ton of weight from my shoulders!  I used to wonder why a loving God would allow pain & sickness.  I don't have the answers, but I know in my situation God uses these events to teach me something.  I've just felt that based upon the past week and half God may want me to know that not only does he have my life in his hands, but he has my little sweeties in his hands as well. 

Here's the part where God answers prayers and this is only  one example.  I've always dreamed of co-parenting with my ex-husband.  I understand that this isn't an easy thing to do in the beginning (or ever), but it IS what I believe is best.

I've prayed for so long for God to open the door of difficult communication.  He has!  Did the co-parenting begin when I thought it should?  Of course NOT!  It happened when God knew it was right and I'm elated about it!

It is extremely difficult for me to see how God works circumstances out for a reason sometimes, but I'm beginning to take a closer look and becoming more receptive to God.  It is amazing!

I pray that you all are able to see and feel God work in your lives and in others.  Make it a great week & remember that God is the ultimate healer & protector.  I promise you he is actively working in our lives.  We just have to choose to see these  things! 

Sunday, May 6, 2012

Imperfect Mom

When I was a little girl, I never dreamed my life would be as it is.  I'm assuming that I, like all girls (and some women I know) dreamed of having the fairytale life and living happily every after.  It took me many years, probably too many to discover that fairy tales are just that.  Movies are just that also.  The media and society portray perfection.  Take a look at a magazine cover or go rent a "chick flick."

I was raised around perfection and always wanted to be "perfect," until I discovered there is no such thing as perfect. God is the only perfect I know.  I did great in school and college and tried  to make A's.   I didn't want a 90, which is an A.  I wanted a 100!  I wanted all or nothing.  Don't worry, later in life I sucked up my pride and took a couple of C's due to being a single mommy.  I decided I'd rather have a C and spend time with my boys than to strive for perfection! Sounds simple, but I know some of you can relate and it IS SO HARD for me to not have the constant need to obtain perfection. 

When I started on my single mom journey, I found out quickly that I needed some time to myself.   Sounds selfish I know.  However, I wanted and still want to be the best mommy I can be and sometimes that requires what I like to call "re-charging your batteries."  I believe everyone (mom or not) needs time to renew their strength, body, mind, soul, and spirit.  My favorite speaker said that we all need a day of rest. A WHOLE day! Why would this seem like a foreign concept to me?  I know God took a day of rest, but he created the world and I'm sure he was MUCH more worn than I've ever been or ever will be. 

I decided to take up running and let that be what re-charged my batteries.  I couldn't do much at first, but I quickly learned that no matter what had happened a short or long jog/walk would always make things better.  Running has helped me to put things into perspective in a different view.  It gives me time to sort out all those files that are stored in your brain and acheive new obstacles. 

I'm still a perfectionist, people pleaser, and I like to keep the peace.  I struggle with these characteristics sometimes.  I know that I can't make anyone happy and that happiness is choice.  I chose to be happy a long time ago, no matter what life threw my way.  Yes, I have emotions, but life is full of changes and challenges so I think it's best to try to smile, pick yourself up and keep going. 

"My health may fail, and my spirit may grow weak, but God remains the strength of my heart; he is mine forever."  PSALM 73:26

I'm changing and growing and am proud to tell you that I don't care as much as I used to about what others think.  I am blessed with amazing friends and family and a God who loves me and my sweeties no matter what.  In the end, that is the MOST important factor to me.  It's not about other mommies, family members, friends, society, etc. and what they think is best.  Who could know what is best for you and your family other than God?  I believe God has given me a level head and with his help, guidance, and love anything is possible!  The point is, I'm better than I ever have been about seeking God's direction and protection for my boys and I.  If others don't approve or don't like the way we live, it doesn't bother me much anymore.  I am next to certain that as long as you are trying your best and doing what's right, it's difficult to go wrong. 

Keeping the peace.   Ahhhh!  That one is still a work in progress.  It took me a LONG time to realize that I can't change anyone but myself.  Therefore, I am responsible for me and my behavior only.  I loathe arguing and fighting.  Life is too short and we aren't guaranteed another breath.  I do my best to be kind to everyone and not hold grudges.  If we all held grudges, who would you have left in your life?  I know in my life, I'd have God and no one else.  I also think it's so damaging to anyone to hold on to anger.  I've seen depression in it's worst form and it is not pretty.  A wise man once told me that people get depressed whenever anger is turned inward and we stuff everything down inside. 

I don't like to go to sleep angry.  I am the type of person (believe it or not everyone has a different arguing style) that wants to talk things through and work out a solution right then!  I don't want to wait until days later!  Guess what?  Maybe half the people on Earth are that way.  The other half like to not talk about it, let time pass and then they are okay with what previously happened.  I've learned to respect that everyone has different styles and just because someone doesn't have the same style as I doesn't mean for one second that I don't respect them.  Once you have learned this, you can easily detect whether someone wants to talk things out then, run away from it, ignore, or simply wait for time to pass. 

It is SO hard for me to not be able to resolve things RIGHT THEN!  However, it's always best that I detect and recognize what the other person wants and respect that.  Life isn't fair, and that's okay.  I'm glad we are all unique.  I promise you I have patience, I just want everyone to get along and sing Kum by yah together.  Sometimes it is impossible.  I do what I know to do, what I think is right, apologize when I am wrong or have done wrong, and move on period.  If you hang on to anger, you are only hurting yourself.  I promise you that the other person will not stay tied to that anger.  Let go of it and give it to God. 

"God-defiers are always in trouble; God-affirmers find themselves loved every time they turn around." PSALM 32:10

I could write to you all day long about my imperfections.  I have nothing to hide and am filled with flaws.  I do believe that beauty does lie in the eye of the beholder.  I want and strive to be the person who is beautiful on the inside.  Outward appearance is something we can't change.  What's in our hearts and souls is what matters the most. 

You see, God knew WAY BEFORE I did that he wanted me just as I am.  He wants us all just as we are and he created us just the way he intended.  Don't get me wrong, I'm not saying any of us should ever stop working on being better people or that God wants us to live outside of what he has planned for our lives.  I only mean that I believe we all should continually work on being better.  If I stopped working on my flaws, friendships, relationships, work, and mommy role then I'd feel as if I'd given up and quit.

 I know that I ALWAYS have room for improvement (can you sense the perfectionism?) and my sweet boys deserve THE BEST!   Children depend on their parents and look to them for guidance.  It's my job to be a role model and teach my sweet boys how to be men of God who are designed to have wonderful lives.

I hope you all have a blessed day and a wonderful week!  Take some time out for YOU.  I promise the rest of all those "things" you have to do will still be waiting for you to do when you are done.  My prayer is that you embrace your imperfections and flaws and don't beat yourself up about them.  God bless you all!

Thursday, May 3, 2012

Dr. Mom

Happy Friday Eve!  Yes, I'm excited about the weekend as always!  It seems like a month has passed since last weekend.  I told God not long ago that I needed our family lives to slow down.  I was specific and let him know that soccer twice a week plus baseball and a toddler (and all the other day to day things) has this single mommy worn out!  He answered my prayer and gave me a different kind of busy as opposed to the "go, go, go" type of busy.

On April 28th, 2012 it was a gorgeous Saturday and "family day."  I took my seven year old and his little buddy to practice baseball at the batting cages.  I don't know much about baseball, but I figured I better show him what I knew and help them out.  We had a blast, laughed, ran, played (on the playground), and came home to practice more baseball! 

Later, my parents asked if my oldest could go fishing.  Ahhh!  Sure!  I can fish, but as you all know I do NOT like critters (that limits fishing because I don't have enough guts to stomach putting a worm on a hook).  I skipped the fishing trip and went to see the big catch!  Things were great!  My oldest wanted to play at his grandparents and I was ready for a little time to catch up on some housework. 

Sometimes my smart phone is SO smart that it doesn't even ring and a voicemail will pop up.  I can't tell you what the voicemail said other than my seven year old had hurt his arm and my parents were on their way to the ER.  I flew out the door in mismatched clothes and flip flops and sped all the way to the ER.  I did a ton of praying and let the tears flow then, because I knew it was soon going to be time for me to be calm and comforting.  You might think this was our first trip to the ER, but trust me it wasn't.  However, it doesn't make it any easier. 

I did my best, reassured my sweetie, and stuck by his side throughout his visit even though I was falling apart on the inside and my heart ached for my little guy.  I went all out and let him have ANY drink and food he wanted (this isn't usually an option).  Given the options of a caffeine and sugar packed mt. dew, coke, etc.  he chose water of course!  Funny, how that works. 

As he was riding his scooter literally twenty minutes before, he hit a dip in the grass and had a wreck.  Thank God he had his helmet on.  However, this quickly brought tons of insight into my mind.  I prayed some more and thanked God that it wasn't worse.  I must have forgotten how our lives can change in the blink of an eye and nothing in this world is a guarantee.  I won't forget that for a LONG time.  I promise. 

The doctor told me that he was just scraped up and there was no way his arm was broken or he'd be crying more.  I didn't open my mouth and let him know that I am doing my best to raise my boys to be pretty tough.  X-rays came back and showed a broken radius.  Okay, check please!

I'll go on and let you know that I'm not used to having two children that can't help themselves.  There's only one of me and I knew immediately I was going to need help.  Have I ever mentioned I loathe asking for help?  I try to be supermom, but it's impossible. My youngest is almost 2 and my oldest is almost 7.  What do we do now?

Yesterday was the hardest day I've ever witnessed with my seven year old.  We saw a surgeon and had surgery in the same day (don't worry, bunny went to surgery also and he is healing up very nicely with a permanent smile on his face).  I know that if I panic my child will too.  I have to tell you that two elderly family members went with me and both are EXTREMELY panicky.  I had to give myself several pep talks and calm three others.  Don't panic!

I asked the nurses to tell my sweet panicky family members that only one person could go back.  My son and I laid in the hospital bed laughing and playing.  I went on and on about how brave he (and bunny--a stuffed animal) were.  I actually had him EXCITED about having surgery!  Mission accomplished!  The worst feeling in the world in this case was fearing my child would have complications, be scared, in pain, etc. 

He went right back with the nurses and I'll never forget having to let go of that sweet little hand.  Then, it was time to wait.  It didn't take long, but it felt like an eternity.  The first GREAT news was that he went right to sleep with no complications!  Thank you, God.  I was concerned about his heart condition, but the doctors assured me he would be fine.  He rolled back into his room and was a champ! 

I'm not sure why this happened, but I'm guessing it had to do with my prayer of being so busy running two children to different sports at least three times a week after work.  You see, God DID answer my prayer.  He just failed to tell me I needed to sharpen up on my nursing skills and be extremely patient.  I have to remind myself (how could I forget?!) that I have BOYS and they act like boys!  Who'd have thought?

So, God has given us exactly what I'd prayed for.  We have a four to six week break from sports, but doctor mom is exhausted.  Thanks to the amazing family I have, I've had some help and I'm beyond blessed.  I'm so glad my son is okay and pain free!

Don't ever forget what you have right in front of your eyes.  Don't take it for granted, because it CAN be taken from you in an instant.  I'm so glad that we have an awesome God that continues to bless my family, even though I don't deserve it.  All of you moms know how it feels to have both halves of your heart in your child or children.  I know my priorities and don't ever forget them.  God comes first and my family is second.  I'd have never made it through these past six days without God period.  I can't live my life without God and I'm so thankful for his healing hands that are healing my son's arm as we speak.  We are on the road to recovery and new adventures of a life with two children who always need my help and constant care.  It's worth every minute of it! 

I've made sure to take some time out and thank God.  I don't want or need for anything and I'm extremely content.  I have two beautiful boys and a new twist on the busy life of a single mommy!  I'll take it any day! I'm ready to see how my new job of "Doctor Mom" turns out.  So far, so good!   Have a wonderful weekend, sweet friends.  I hope you all are aware of your blessings.  If you aren't, just ask God to open your eyes and see what happens.