Monday, January 25, 2016

College Mom

It hasn't quite been two years since I've written, but I've been busy.  My sincerest apologies.  It's cold  and winter proves to be in full force here in Kentucky.  I hope you are all warm and cozy wherever you may be. 

I was recently honored to read a dear friend's writings and have been so moved.  This friend possesses a gift for writing AND for drawing!  I noticed they hadn't been writing as often and me being myself wondered why not.  What did I do?  I encouraged them to continue to write, but probably for selfish reasons.  I can't wait to read them!  Those writings are some of the deepest, sweetest, most personal, and touching words I've ever read.  I'm a firm believer in using the gifts that God has given us.  The trick for me was always identifying those gifts.  I feel qualified to spot talent from a mile away, since I love to read.  I'm also brutally honest and don't believe in being anything but brutally honest, no matter how bad the truth is.  I can be very outspoken.  Honestly, I'm probably too outspoken, but I'm not always.   That's how I like others to be with me, so that's the kind of friend I try to be.  Some people don't like that about me and I'm totally fine with that.  I just know myself.  I only go to and trust  those I'm certain will tell me how it is, even if it's not what I want to hear. 

I've searched most of my life to find EXACTLY what my gift is.  You know, that gift that God has given you and intends for you to use here on this Earth?  I've diagnosed myself, taken personality tests, and even returned to college.  I've FINALLY found my gift.  I'm certain I only have one.  If I have more gifts, I may spend another thirty four years trying to acknowledge and identify them, but for now I'm good with just having one gift.  Not just any gift, but THE gift I plan on using for the rest of my life and in my future career.  That gift is helping others.  I am so thrilled and also feel  bit cursed that it has taken me so long to finally identify God's purpose for my life.  I didn't do things the traditional way or on the same timeline that most others do.  I'm totally fine with that too, but I know appreciate and value the little things in life.  That simply means sometimes the little things are HUGE to people like me.  This is often a blessing, as it doesn't take much to make me happy and I'm usually pretty content. 

The way I understand it, we are all supposed to help others.  I recently resigned from my career and everything I knew in order to finish my undergraduate degree and hopefully attain my graduate degree in counseling.  My former career (makes me a little sad just writing about it, as I miss my clients so very much) was in a helping field, but after much prayer I decided I wanted to help others as much as I can.  Being a caseworker in public assistance just wasn't enough for me anymore.  I NEED to see clients who WANT to change.  Mainly, I want to be able to see progress right before my own eyes.  I absolutely love helping others, especially those who just need someone to believe in them.  I aspire to give them my full one on one attention and become a mental health provider.  I don't know if I will make it, but I'm now a full time mom/student with A's!  My oldest son is eleven and he is me twenty three years ago.  I was so happy to tell him the news and his only response was, "Mom, aren't you a little OLD to be going to college?"  Ouch.  Well, yes.  Kind of.  I used that as motivation and I make sure to remind him often (especially when I get As) that I am not too old to give up on my dreams.     I know this journey won't be easy, but I'm ready to give it my all and not look back on my life with regrets.  Watch out, world!  This college mom is close to graduating! 

A wise man is full of strength, and a man of knowledge enhances his might,  Proverbs 24:5

Whatever you do, wherever you are, I hope you ALWAYS believe in yourself and the beauty of your own dreams.  Don't give up.  "Reach for the moon.  If you fall short, you just may land on a star!" 

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