Good evening sweet friends and readers. I hope this finds you all more excited than ever for Christmas Vacation, spending time with those you love the most, and mainly thankful for all the wonderful blessings in your life. I'm blessed and I never lose sight of that.
Yesterday I had to visit my family physician for a check up. He looked at me and asked me "Do you eat, Robin?" OUCH. I replied in my best, most happiest voice, "Yes, I eat, Why do you ask?" He said I look unhealthy and am underweight. He also informed me it's not normal to feel a valley when laying down between my hip bone and my ribs. I'm trying and that's what I told him. He knows about the divorce, my sick relative, career change, baby leaving throughout Christmas break, etc. He gave me his best sermon and I give him a four out of five stars! Yes, I'm being sarcastic, but you have to understand that when things are a wreck the last thing on my mind is eating. I'm definitely NOT an emotional eater. Food does not bring me comfort, and throughout the course of the past year I've gone from a size six to a zero or a two with a belt. I am trying, and that's all I can do. He also informed me that I'd have to be careful because he says I'm beautiful and that men are going to flock to me. That was nice of him to say especially after the unhealthy weight sermon. My blood pressure was unusally higher than normal (by the way I take blood pressure meds and have for the past year and I'm only THIRTY). He doubled the dose because this mommy isn't willing to have a stroke, heart attack, or even have the slightest damage to my heart. I can NOT imagine why my blood is almost boiling! Either way, I take the maintenance pill at night and I'll be just fine as always! Bless his heart and thank God there are still doctors out there who care about my well being. I'm honestly thankful to have a wonderful doctor.
Last night my seventeen month old sweetie got sick on me. I consoled him, prepared to clean up the vomit, and he was fine playing and laughing. I, on the other hand had a weak moment and had to hold the porcelain king for a few minutes while he thought it would be the prime time to mimic me gagging and getting sick. I have no idea what happened to my stomach! I worked in oral surgery for years, but perio disease, decay, and vomit all smell a little different and last night it wasn't meant for me to hold down my special k bar. But hey, I wasn't prepared to give my "mother of the year" speech anyway (please note my intended sarcasm). We are all fine, but I thought you might need a little laugh!
Today was one of the toughest. I've prepared myself as much as possible to be away from my sweet baby for a week. SEVEN days! That's the longest I've ever been without him, but I'm sure I can do it with God by my side. I know it's going to be tough, but the great news is I have THE MOST amazing friends & family anyone could ever ask for. I'm so grateful and blessed and I don't deserve it.
Today was my last day in my current position and saying goodbye is never easy. However, I'm so thankful that I have such amazing people in my life that make saying goodbye so hard. I didn't say goodbye. I said "I'll see you all soon," and I will. I will train the next person to do my previous job. In the meantime, I'm going to take a break to the best of my ability and take a couple of weeks to take care of my sweet babies and myself. Next week was supposed to entail a big and nasty court date called "mediation." I was prepared as I could be, only to find out that my former husband cancelled at the last minute. I'm beyond ready for this crazy ride to be over.
After I finished packing my family photos, children's art work, and all my other cute stuff from my desk, I turned in my keys and bolted to the family doctor appointment concerning my closest relative. The doctor basically told us that my relative could die at any given moment in their sleep due to carbon monoxide poisoning. The rate of carbon monoxide in their blood was 22x that of a normal person and extremely lethal. The doctor told us that he called us in because he wanted us to know before he got a call that my relative was found dead in their sleep. I can't begin to tell you what a hard pill that was to swallow. I had to put on my bravest face & be a shoulder for her to cry on. I cried my eyes out later. The great news is, if she quits smoking, her carbon monoxide rate will go down rapidly. She has quit smoking and those in my family who were smokers have quit with her. It's so hard to hear her saying she wished she were in heaven (and she means it) where she wouldn't have any worries, anxiety, or stress. She knows she wouldn't feel pain there, but again I'm selfish and not afraid to admit it.
The amazing news is that God is still in the miracle business and she doesn't have cancer, but she's seriously ill. I'm so thankful to be able to spend this Christmas right beside her. I'm glad I can be there for her to listen to her fears, worries, and other problems. I can't imagine what she's going through, but it hurts my heart something awful to sit back and watch it happen. I literally spend every free moment I have with her. I want to memorize her face, take unlimited photos, tell her how much I love her every chance I get, and memorize her voice.
I know God has HUGE plans for us all, and I have an undying faith. I know that things are going to be okay and good will come from all situations one day. I have an interview tomorrow, my best friend in the world is flying in from down south to spend Christmas here and will be moving at the end of January. You see, God knows exactly what we need and I believe he gives it to us when we need it. I try my best not to ask for anything and to tell him how thankful I am for what I have.
Recently, he's sent people in my life for a reason and not just a season. I know those special people came from God because I'm extremely honest with him and I've told him that if he wants me to go to these doctor appointments and court dates he's going to have to do it through me and send me those who care about me most or new people in my life to help me through this crazy ride called life. He has done that and I can't thank him enough. Thank you for all of those special people in my life that never give up on me. You all know exactly who you are, and you have no idea how much I love each and every one of you! I know God has sent you for a reason and not just a season. I couldn't do it without you all and I promise I can lend my heart, help, ears, and anything you all may need at anytime. Thank you all for bearing with me, believing in me when I didn't believe in myself, and for remaining constant. Words can't express and I love you doesn't cut it, but I hope you get the picture.
Tomorrow is a new day and I'm excited to start over! Christmas shopping with an amazing person and a new job interview is quite exciting. Did I mention my oldest son's Christmas break begins tomorrow and my youngest son's last day of school is tomorrow? I'm elated! My seven year old came home today on top of the world to have the privilege of being trusted to take care of the princess, the class guinea pig for Christmas vacation. I can't say I'm so excited, but the boys LOVE LOVE LOVE princess and I'm just a little terrified about the sweetest rodent. However, they are in love with the rodent, so I will try to overcome my fear of miss princess biting my sweet babies or myself.
I want you all to know that I adore each and every one of you! I hope you all are reading this for a reason and not just a season. I promise you all that life is great! It may have it's ups and downs, but if it didnt' then we wouldn't be as strong as we are would we? I'm going to enjoy my little family this Christmas and make it the best one ever! I pray that you all do the same and that God will ease any heartache you may have, struggles you may be going through, and enhance the joy of Christmas in your hearts and actions. Please hug and kiss all of those who are dear to your heart and tell them how much you care. I did today. I will tomorrow, and I will continue as long as I'm alive. God bless you all and have a MERRY CHRISTMAS!
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